Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Another Day

Tomorrow is Valentines Day. It was a day for lovers...a day to be sweet and thoughtful to the person you love, but it has just become a day that just sucks! Not to say I don't like to feel special on this day....

I think that people who love each other need to strive each and everyday to make it work. Everyday a person awakes is a conscious effort to be a good husband/wife. Why should there be just one day a year that someone makes a special effort. It has become so commercialized, roses and candy double in price...things are expected...and the people that have no one in their lives feel like crap when every woman in the office receive $200 roses.

To me I would rather someone make a conscious effort to be a good partner and do the small things that make a relationship what it is. I would rather have a handpicked wildflower and a post-it-note that that says "I love you" than $200 in red roses (don't get me wrong, I love roses...but I would rather have them on a regular day than on Valentines day). I would rather get flowers brought home just to say..."honey I was thinking about you today."

It is the small details that make me happy. It is a look, a shared smile, a private joke. A comfortable silence that speaks louder than mere words. A touch that means a thousand things. There are the small things about the person you love, that you know brings them joy. Concentrate on these things and make the person know you love them daily.

Back when my ex used to try...he know I checked our PO Box every morning and he would go get one of my favorite chocolates and put it in a tiny box. He would put it in the PO Box for me to find when I got the mail. That is one of the sweetest memories I have, too bad he stopped trying.

Let me share a story of a girl I worked with a few years back. She is a well off, spoiled city girl. Who was dating a farm boy. The farm boy was enamored with this girl, and would have done almost anything for her.

Valentines Day came around, and through out the day several girls in our office received bouquets of flowers from their spouses. After lunch I was up front doing some paperwork and a delivery person came in with more flowers, she jumped up and said, "Are those for me? Oh they aren't red roses!" They were for another girl in the office, but she started complaining that they guy she was dating hadn't sent her roses. (Note: These people had only been dating about 2 months.) She said, "He better send me roses, or I am going to be pissed."

At this point my eyes were bugging out of my head at her audacity. BUT she continued....at this point she actually picked up her cell phone and texted this poor guy...asking where her roses were. I was absolutely aghast at her! I couldn't believe she had done that. At this point I walked away...I could not take anymore of the selfish, bitchy crap she was dishing out.

The next day, I just had to ask...did ya ever get roses? She rolled her eyes and said "ya, but he surprised me with them, he had dinner, a bottle of wine, a gift and roses waiting at my apartment when I got home. It was no big deal." I wanted to kill her!!! I couldn't believe that she was angry, that he saved money and made a nice dinner for her to surprise her and she was unhappy about it! People like her don't deserve to have someone waste their time on them.

I was so angry at her that she expected something...then she had the nerve to ask where her flowers were....When you have to ask, that in itself tells you where you really stand...

Take the time to make the person you love feel special, but make sure they know its not just because it Valentines Day...but because you truly love them.

20 comments:

A Better Person said...

What a special post for Valentine...I love your last 3 lines.

captain corky said...

Me and my wife don't celebrate Valentines Day. She thinks V-Day is really corny. I'm lucky like that.

I also agree with you on the flower thing. I picked wild flowers for her one time and she was extremly happy, loving and grateful.

Wizened Wizard said...

A wish for you...

Craig D said...

I sent roses to my wife's workplace one Valentines Day. Two results:

1. The boss' wife bitched that the ones I sent were better than the ones she got. (SCORE!)

2. Our daughter was born 9 months later. Cause and effect? You be the judge!

Happy Valentines Day!

Em said...

I've had a busy few days so I'm just catching up on your writing. And I love your post and totally agree. My wife and I swap a card and a bit of candy, but demonstrations of affection and caring and sensuality should never be reserved one day! That girl in your office was a selfish brat and could end up with a hubby who ONLY sends her flowers once a year. Maybe she'll love that, huh?

I want to wish YOU a Happy Valentine's Day. You are one of the folks I've enjoyed getting to know most of all since I started blogging. I hope your day is happy and fun and that you know you are loved.

Jay said...

Valentines day sucks. It's just another commericalized made up holiday that is all about trying to make people spend money on junk.

On the local news they had some chick at the mall interviewing all these woman ... about 6 or 7 of them ... and each one was saying that a dozen roses WASN'T ENOUGH!! They expected diamonds and other expensive things. I would dump their asses. LOL

Anonymous said...

You are so right.. OMG! I would have been angry too. I can't believe the nerve of that spoiled brat.

The Lone Beader said...

Agreed. And, Valentine's Day is crap.

susan said...

I agree with everything you just said.

And I never get flowers on Valentine's Day, but am frequently surprised by them throughout the year. And that's exacty how I like it!

I think the story about the candy in the mailbox is just so sweet, that is a really nice memory

Kati said...

Happy Valentine's Day Bardouble!!!!! I hope you have have a fantastic day!!! (Of course, I always wish my friends a fantastic day, but just verbalizing it today!!!! *wink*)

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Amen!

Chalice said...

You are right... God you are so right... I love the way you think :) Sometimes I think our brains are a little connected because you and I share alot of the same insight.

As for what you are saying about V-Day that is why I bought nothing for Michael. Instead I wrote him poetry and made him a special post on my blog. To me sharing feelings means so much more. Tonight we are sitting down and having a quiet dinner and spending time together. Thats all we need. But whats even nicer is the fact this is how we are with each other all of the time.

It doesn't take money.. It takes time, patience and love...

Great post :)

Echo said...

It seems that I, like the rest of your readers have banded together for an ANTI V-DAY grunt fest. I can't stand the commercialism of Valentine's day. Hubby's birthday is tomorrow and rather than exchanging gifts on a holiday we don't even believe in, I show him I love him by spoiling his on his day.

Chucky said...

Yup! You rock!

Anne said...

Great post - I agree. I once worked as a secretary for a wonderful, teddy bear of a guy who was madly in love with his wife. He sent her roses for Valentine's Day, and she just complained because someone else in her office got bigger ones. He was crushed. It was so sad. I wish some people would think a bit more.
For what it's worth, happy Valentine's Day.

Halo7528 said...

girl I am so with you on this! I got roses last week just because! So much better than today.... ughyou should show your love everyday and not just at the holidays

DykesDog said...

I couldn't agree with you more. I have the best partner in the world. She leaves me small gifts everywhere in the house. She writes me notes on the bathroom mirror and makes my coffee every morning.

Anita said...

I'm a huge fan of doing Valentine's Day type things on random days through the year. Dinner/cards/hugs/etc go so much further when not expected.

Great post!

Baron Ectar said...

I am so glad yesterday is over with - I hate the day because it makes people feel pressured to buy flowers and such at triple the price or you have to deal with not getting any grrrrrrrrrrrrr - worse then Christmas I swear.

Then there are people like this woman you write of - oh boy.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Really! I agree!
If we have someone we love, we should profess that each & everyday that we see or talk to them!
My DH felt bad that all he could afford were Daylilies picked fresh from the yard...until he saw how delighted I was! (Yellow...my favorite!) With the temps falling into the low 20's this week-end & having them still alive & healthy in an old mason jar of water, I was able to remind him that he actually saved them from freezing.