Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year

I want to first wish all of you a great new year.

There are so many that have expressed that this past year was rough...

My wish for all of you is that 2008 brings normality, smiles, laughter, and some tears to keep it real. I hope that for another year, I get to share the lives and thoughts of all my blogger family.

May everyone be safe tonight and have a great New Years!

HUGS to all!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Work has a way of putting a real damper on the holidays.

In our employee handbook, I thought I had readthat we had the day after Christmas off...and I just found out yesterday we don't. Who in heck is going to go apartment hunting the day after Christmas!!!! Give me a break!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Out of Hiding

Some of you will be shocked that I am actually typing words here on this page.

For the last few months, I have had no conviction or desire to write. Life has been going well and I have been keeping busy.

I think that this blog was very theraputic for me while I was going through some very rough personal things. You guys were my friends and someone could lean on.

I miss all my friends though...I have visited many of you and read your thoughts and stories.

I do want to continue to write and visit all of you...

SO you are warned, I am back around.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


To me this is one of the scariest words...

Once you have been burned a few times, this is very hard to do.

Someone looks at you and asks you to rely on them. Trust them...

Trust must be earned, the same way respect is.

I have a hard time trusting people. There comes a time though, when a person in your life wants you to trust them. They want to earn it....

To trust or not to trust...that is the question.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Odd and End thoughts

Wow life has been a bit crazy these past few weeks.

I haven't even been around to blog much. Wish life would even out a bit. Once I get a new job things should calm down. By all means I love the money overtime brings, but I love my time at hoem even more.

In about a year I am going to be in a wedding. I am really excited about it. She is one of my dearest friends. We were roomies when we were both young, poor and silly. We have remained friends over the years and now she is marrying a great guy. She really deserves this in her life. She has had so many ups and downs. I can't wait to stand beside her and just feel so glad that she is finally with a man that loves her and wants her to be happy.

After so long of not being married, getting back out there and dating really sucks.
Its all about getting to know and finding out the new. Wish we could all just write a little book of all of our qualities, faults, pet peeves etc. and then when you meet someone hand over the book let them take a look. If it doesn't sound good, just hand the book back and go on to the next guy.

BUT!!! I am really lucky, the guy I am dating is GREAT! Taking things slow and really trying to take the time to just enjoy the pleasure of dating. (Maybe that is why I have less time to blog....hmmmmm, something to think about!)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Wonders Will Never Cease

Things that make you go hummmmm.......

I was off on Wednesday and headed to an interview...and my bosses-boss called me and apologized for calling on my day off, but asked if I had a few minutes to talk.

She said that my name had been flying around the corporate office...and I thought OH SHIT!!!!

She went on to say that it was all good and that there were several people at the corporate office that asked her to call me and see if I might possibly be interested in a brand new complex that was coming available and needed a manager.

My mouth dropped open to say the a fairly new employee of the company I am not supposed to be eligible for a management position for well over a year.

She went on to say that I have been noticed at the corporate and that there were many people who thought very highly of me and wanted to skip me ahead because they think I would do well in the position.

So all of that to say...I have an informal interview with the corporate office on Tuesday for the position. I shall keep you all updated on how that one goes.

I am so glad to have internet back and be able to stay connected with the world!

Have a happy anyone planning a big Halloween bash? I am looking to go to one, but will probably have to I want to live vicariously through all my blog mates!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Dance puppet

Gone are the days when it was easy to get a job. Gone are the days when you write a simple resume, go in for an interview dressed in a nice suit and are hired based on your qualifications and work history.

Now it is a song and dance. Your resume has to have something to catch their eye because they only look at it for 2.2 nanoseconds. Then you have to include the all important cover letter.

Then you have to follow up three times.

After you get the granted interview, then comes deciding what to wear.

And at the interview, you must mirror their body language and voice inflection. Laugh at their stupid jokes and ask certain questions and remember key phrases that all hiring managers want to hear.

ITS ALL A BUNCH OF BUNK!!! Why can't things go back to the simple times.

Friday, October 05, 2007


Only took me like FOREVER!!!!

Then they cam out today to install and said they couldn't! I almost lost my cool! But I kept it and we discussed further and we got it all figured out! all moved and settled with the new roomies and I am still looking for the new job. Just doing it slowly and trying to get what I really want.

So give me a day or two to catch back up with all of you!!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I have good news!! I should have internet in a day or so. Apparently I live in an area that is difficult to get high speed, but I am very persistant. And my persistance paid off.

So, give me a day or two and I will driving all my blogger buddies crazy.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Miss ME????

I am alive and well, the move went as smoothe as a move can be expected to go.

I have no internet though, so bare with me...I will visit all of you when I can steal a computer from a friend.

Hopefully soon, I will get internet....

MISSS ALL of you!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Making a Move


I am getting ready to move and will be somewhat scare around here (yes, more than I already have been...)

But don't forget about me, PLEASE!!!

This move is a good, positive, healthy move. I am getting out of a situation I should have gotten out of long ago. (Part of those changes I was talking about.)

I am going into a situation that is where I want to be. With someone that makes me happy and laugh. Some say I am moving to quickly, but I also feel life is to short and sometimes decisions are made to just take care of things that need to be taken care of. I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds.

So anyways, I may not have much access to a computer for awhile as I am moving from A to B and I just don't want you guys to forget about me. I will blog and pop in for your blogs as often as I can.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Making Those Changes

About a week ago I wrote a blog about making some changes in my life.

I am beginning to set some of those changes in place, a few of them have been hard, as I have had to make some changes in living arrangements, change a few people that have been in my life that have been bringing me down. I am not one to want to hurt anyones feelings...but it is time for me to start telling people what I want and what I want with my life.

One of the other changes I have decided to make is going ahead and looking for another job. So, as I am quietly at the one I have, I have started doing some networking and seeing what is out there. With my background, I know there has to be something out there that is better than the crap I have been dealing with.

I can see the changes in my life giving me more peace and happiness. Change is hard but well worth the price down the road.

There is a funny dynamic that changed in my life today that I do feel may bring some funny blog material down the road. I inherited an interesting roommate today...we will see how this turns out.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I owe all my blogger family a big SORRY!!!

I have not disappeared or gotten snatched by the boogey man...

I know many of you have emailed me wondering where my butt is,

I have been working insane hours and by the time I get home there is nothing but mush up there in my brain....

So this is short and sweet as I am getting ready for yet another day of work....

HUGS to all of you!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

No help

Ok guys!!! Where are you guys at when I really need you??

This morning at 4:45 I had the crap scared outta me!!

For the last week I have been house sitting for a couple that is vacationing in Washington.

They have a dog and a cat. (Dog is worthless, its afraid of its own shadow)

So there I was sound asleep on the couch with the cat sleeping with me.

And next thing I know there is loud crashing, banging noise. I jumped up and grabbed the phone and called 911, ran to the pantry area and grabbed a large stick that was there and waited for the police. They showed up and walked the perimeter, and the house. Whatever it was was long gone, but there was ZERO chance of me being to fall back to sleep....

I hate the feeling of wondering if there is someone going to break in!!! SCARY!!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My Friends

Good Morning all my bloggerville buddies and new friends.

This is a quick note to let some of you know that I have not stopped visiting your blog or stopped commenting...

There are a few of your blogs that when I click on your link to go read whatever tasty tidbit you have written, my computer freezes up and I am unable to read, click back or do a damn thing. I end up having to CTL-ALT-DELETE...and it makes me GRRRRRR!!!

So I want all of you to know that I will continue to get to all my favorite peoples blogs, but if I am missing, just know I am still thinking about all of you and that I have not stopped visiting you all....

Sunday, August 12, 2007


People are often terrified of having change in their lives. People get used to their comfort zones, and are resistant to the growth possibilities that change can bring.

But I view change as means to grow and continue to learn. New experiences bring new growth.

There are some changes I am making in my own personal life. There are changes that I am making that will better me as a person. Some of the changes are mental, they require me to start thinking in a different manner, to be more self disciplined.

Self discipline is one area that I really have always lacked and I am trying to teach myself to have a better self discipline and the mental ability to push through hard or tough situations.

I think half the battle to getting something you want in your life is the mental strength behind the persons motivation.

So all of this to say, I am starting to make some fresh, positive changes in my life that are good, positive and make me a happy girl.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Still Around

Nope, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.

I am having a hard time balancing work, my few extra curricular activities and computer time....

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend, and I was telling her how much I miss it when I can't make my visits to my friends...and I ended up laughing because she is not a blogger and doesn't understand that my daily trip around bloggerville is like an addiction...

I miss Enemy, Spongy, Jay, Chucky, Echo, Queen Anne, Greg and I could go on and on...but you get my point.

Right now I am in a dilemma.

I am not necessarily happy in my new job. I love the actual work I do...I am a people person and get to deal with people on a daily basis and I have met some of the nicest most interesting people...but there are a few things that are really grating against my nerves at work...

At this point I am trying to decide, if I want to try to stick it out and see if I can bear these annoyances, or if I should start looking for something else.

I loved my other job that I got laid off of, I was there for over 2 years...and I want to be some place like that to be able to enjoy going to work...

Thursday, August 02, 2007

What would you say?

There are only two rules for this: 1. List (10) hard things you wish you could say to 10 people but you know you never will. 2. Don't say who it is about.

I read this on Echo's blog and I really liked the idea...

1. You are so special to me, and there are so many opportunities in are the only one holding yourself back from them.

2. Life is so short and you have already had an accident...slow down and enjoy the small things in life, don't always be so intense about the small crap.

3. Thank you for being a part of my life, my thoughts that make me smile and laugh.

4. Its time to make changes in your life. I know you are set in yours ways and yours is the only "right" way...but its never to late to heal the hurt and for us to start some kind of relationship.

5. You are harder on yourself...lighten up, you are a fanstastic guy and I am so proud do have you as one of my dearest friends.

6. I am so sorry. I hurt you and didn't mean hind sight if I could take back what happened...I would.

7. You are beautiful and so caring and yet you are so worried about what everyone else thinks...its most important to love yourself first.

8. Please take care of often you push yourself to physical and mental limits and you are not taking time to just take care of yourself...that really scares me.

9. You make me so have hurt me a few times and now I have to hide those thoughts and continue to smile, even though I wish I could tell you how I feel...

10. I miss you so much...I wish there was a way to go see you. I would drive there and we would talk and catch up...we would laugh and spend time together.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Ever have those days?

You wake are in a great mood.

You get ready, and head off to work, and all feels right in the world.

You get to work and in a matter of 2.5 seconds that wonderful feeling changes to one of dour and sour.

Yep that seems to continue to happen.

I love when a manager starts a group meeting with, "now I don't want to have to write any of you up, but I will if I have to!"

It makes me want to ask, if she is threatening us. She comes and goes as she pleases (salaried position) and prefers not to go on tours...and will not work an ounce over her 8 hours.

I know when I was a salaried manager, I often was required to work well over 8 hours on a regular basis...OH!!! and she gets every weekend off, and I have not had one!!! and my other coworker has had 3 off since I started. I had to beg for a weekend off in August!

Ok folks, thank for listening to me moan and groan!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Can You Feel 'Em?

Can I feel what???

Am I supposed to feel something???

Barb says yep...feel the good vibes.

I was picked for a Good Vibrations meme by none other than the famous.....Em

So here, in no special order, are five things that get my good vibes going, that put a smile on my face, and make the day worthwhile.

1. My daily morning dose of all my favorite bloggers!!! My day starts with you and a great cup of coffee...I know what is going on in the neighborhood. Your blogs make me laugh and smile and worry about all of you.

2. My cat, he is spoiled rotten and loves me to death, if I am sick or down he comes and cuddles with me...animals have a way of worming into your heart and they really can make a difference.

3. Books...I love to read, it gives me an opportunity to block out the world for a few hours and I can sail away to a far away place....I also learn something new each time I pick up a new book.

4. The new special someone in my life....not really ready to expand on this one yet.

5. My job, as much as I complain about the long hours I work, I do love my job. I get to meet new people every day and if I can make one small difference in a persons life everyday...then I have full filled some small goal in my life.

Now I get to choose people to pass this meme on too...I am not going to choose just a few, I am picking everyone who reads this...why? because this is a great meme to tell about the positives in your life....and there is always a need for positives to be shared....

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

No title today!

I had planned on posting a great meme blog that I was tagged for, but since all I wanna do is crawl back in bed....

I got hit with one of those mid summer head colds. Nothing like feeling like crap in 110 degree weather.

I promise to be back to normal posting when I feel more normal.

HUGS to all

Monday, July 23, 2007

Ouch, Owie...OHHHHHH!!!

Yep, my feet hurt. Yes, they do.

Why you ask???

Because the silly girl that I am. I found a sale on a really cute pair of shoes and wore them to work yesterday.

Now Sundays are normally quiet and peaceful and I thought it would be a great way to break in the new shoes.

But wouldn't you know it...the day I wear new shoes it is SOOOO busy!!

By the end of the day I am hobbling along and today there are areas on both of my feet that are missing skin. OUCH!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Chatting it up!

My good friend, Miss Enemy, called me up one day out of the blue and said she wanted to kick back and have a few martinis and chat a little.

So one day when I had some free time, I headed over to Philly and she took me to her favorite place to have some martini's.

And we started to talk...

The first question she asked me is...

Why do you blog?

I blog because I can....joking! Joking! A few years ago I had never heard of blogging and one of my really good friends Chucky talked about his blog all the time and kept telling me to just try it.

The first year I had all of 2 readers and very sporadically blogged. I began to venture out a bit and read some of others peoples blogs and then found a few people that started creating a community atmosphere. So to be honest I keep coming back everyday because of the wonderful people I have had the opportunity to meet...
And NO I am not getting all mushy, I haven't had that many martinis yet.

Next she asked about my other blog, Poets Corner and said...

You love to write poetry. Explain what writing poetry does for you. What can this particular medium do for you creatively that others, be they language based or some other artistic expression, fail to achieve?

Wow that is a mouthful to bite off...I started writing poetry as a 14 year old to deal with some of the really dark, hurtful things in my life. My early poetry is filled with hurt and anguish. It was a way for me to pour my feelings out on paper and not keep it bottled up inside. Words are powerful, I love to take words and make them flow, dance and color a picture of a mood or feeling. In the past I used to draw a little, but the medium would not allow me to express my hurt very well and I grew frustrated. Writing truly allows me a vent for all my feelings and emotions. And thanks to all of you guys who have stuck with me for over a year now. You know I love you guys!!! (Awww those martinis are starting to get to me.)

Now when I drink I get silly and mushy, but my friend Enemy got more intense with her questions....

What are you most proud (the good kind) of in your life? Why? Toot your horn, friend!

Wow another biggie!! I have to say that with all the hardship and things that I have endure in my life, I still believe in smiling, love, friendship and I love being alive. I am proud that when people in my life told me that I would never amount to anything, I squared my shoulders and plunged on ahead. No I am not exactly where I want to be in life, but by no means am I completely unhappy where I am.

Think of one experience that you feel changed your life for the better and set you on a better path? Would you like to describe it?

I have had many experience that have shaped my life...I think the most significant one is having been dumped at 14 years old and made to grow up over night. I got a job and finished high school. I managed to not ever get involved in drugs and mostly kept out of trouble...but the part of my life truly defined much of who I am today.

You know that Jo (another friend) and I talk a lot about life journeys? Do you feel you are on one? What does it mean to you?

Yes I do feel like all of us are on a journey. I just don't know exactly what my purpose is or why I am here. I do know that this feeling makes me very well aware of how I live my life everyday. I look to make a difference everyday in someones life...somehow.

So now that my friend Enemy and I have bonded over martinis and shared a deep interview, this is where I get to ask if any of you want to be interviewed. I know most of you have already volunteered umpteen times, so no pressure!!

I love ya man!!!!

On the Road again.

Well, I have gotten the ole Saturn the tune of $800.00 in repairs with more needed.

I told them to just do what had to be done to get me back on the road again.

The one thing that was really hard on me was having NO ONE to call for help.

After the fact there were several people that siad I could have called, but I had never asked them for help before and didn't know I would even have been welcome to call.

On another note have you ever done something that seemed like a great idea and the time and then in retrospect you kick yourself for not thinking it through better. I can't tell you how many times I have done that lately.

Why am I so impatient for life to already hurry up and just happen? I want something now....I hate waiting.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Day From Hell

Can today get any worse...and its only a quarter to 11.

Went out to get into my car to go to work this morning and nothing....absolutely nothing. The car won't start.

I call AAA and they come out and can't get it started either.

So the guy loads up my car and hauls it to the Saturn dealership. I have no idea what is wrong and I am stranded at home. I have no help and no one to turn to for a ride...I can't even get ahold of my freaking ex to see if he can help me.

I want to go back to sleep and start today all over.

So by the time today is over...I will either have a running Saturn or a new car...I have to have a car.

I hate days like today.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Can't live without us women!

I am shamelessly stealing yet something else I read from another blogger....

Nine words women use...
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

How many of you use these statements??? I know I do.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Things I love

I am shamelessly stealing this from a fellow blogger...

Things that I love...

dark chocolate

a great song

dancing till it hurts

a glass of wine

new sheets on my bed

tattoos on men

a great smile

sexy eyes

banter with friends

a dinner out

a dinner in with candles....

Tell me the things you love

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Cause I am a "Slacker"


Have a day off today and what do I do???

I drank too damn much last night and I have a freaking headache today.

But I am up and about and damn determined to enjoy my day, although it will be full of chores to catch up on....

But I wanted to leave some thoughts with y'all...a friend sent me this email and I love it...

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down
clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.

I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at
Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.

To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written By Paul Harvey

Sunday, July 01, 2007

What I want.

This is where I am supposed to insert a witty...funny...ancedotal....story here!

I got nothing...

I used to work days and days straight, and could run on all cylinders...

Now I am tired...(yes, Spongy and feel a little old)

I want a glass of wine, a wonderful oil massage and a hot bubble that order

Oh and a freaking day off to enjoy the above mentioned items.

Anyone available to give that massage????

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I got to meet my granddaughter today...

She is tiny...she has perfect toes and slate eyes...she was dressed in a lil pink dress and her dark hair has a little bow.

She furrows her brow, and smiles, she holds your gaze, like she is trying to understand.

I felt mixed emotions getting to see and hold her today.

I held her and breathed in her baby sweetness, I drank in the coos and the smiles...

I pinched back the tears as I finally handed her back to her mommy.

I was elated, sad, happy, wistful and crushed all at the same time.

Also for the first time in a long time, I was able to wrap my arms around Alyssa and give her a hug.

The whole thing leaves me feeling thoughtful and rather pensive.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Come Here my Little Pretty's!

Come one, come all....

Please enter, it is warm and inviting in here....

Come take a seat, kick back, relax....drinks of your choice will be served close your eyes, and let your mind wander a little

we are going to take a ride in Barb's imaginary world.

In my imaginary world, I don't have to work 12 days straight without a day off...
In my imaginary world, I have enough money to take a road trip to go visit all my favorite blog people...
In my imaginary world, there is some sanity in my life...

By now all of you are thinking that your dear little blogger friend Barb has lost her lovin little mind....right???

Well all of you are right!! Barb is off her rocker...a few too many knocks to the 'ole noggin! Yep, dun gone and lost the little sanity I have left!

Saturday, June 23, 2007


Who named "society" the keeper of all that is right and moral?

Who made them the final judge of what is deemed right, wrong or immoral?

I don't care much for society, and all that it represents.

These are people like you and I who feel like they have a right to judge another man.

I don't care much for Christians either...and the saddest part is...I am one. There are many times I am embarrassed to call myself a christian, and for the fact that I too have done things that were wrong, but I didn't want to spout the Bible in someones face when I am not on the right path myself....there are just too many that have given God a bad rap.

Don't come calling me out, picking the splinter out of my eye, until you remove the forest growing out of your own.

I used to work with a man, who called himself a devout christian and was a deacon of the church and worked with the youth, and did sound for the services...on and on and on.

He was the first one to bash gay men...openly thought lesbians were hot and told me that he had a nasty dream about me, and would say out loud "look at the ass on that hottie, what I could do to that!"

I am sorry, but I don't think gay basing and talking nasty aligns with being a devout deacon of the church...Or am I just not hip with the way churches think now days?

Would someone care to enlighten me?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Some Pictures

My favorite place in the world...wind in my hair...sand on my feet...not a care in the world.

Barb wants to go back to Europe...I loved Europe, went to Italy and fell in love with it...but now I want to see England, Ireland and Greece.

This lil cutie is my granddaughter. She is turning 2 months in 2 days. I still have never laid eyes on her....

This is my evil side...Only problem is the other side (my angel) part left me a note saying she was taking an extended vacation...

This lil guy is my main man....Can't tell he is spoiled rotten can you. Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


My brain twin Chalice tagged me to do the 8 weird things about me meme.

I am SO not that weird...Hush Chucky! I am not that weird.

I could cheat and just use my same answers from the last one, but I will behave and use new ones....

1. I am a terrible passenger (but a great driver)....The passenger side of the car needs to come equipped with a brake, because when I am riding with someone that is driving like a nut, my brake foot is trying to hit the brakes. But at the same time I am a speed demon when I am driving....Love feeling the speed. Yeah Baby!

2. I love music...and can't carry a tune for the life of me...But when I am alone (especially in the car - people probably think I am a lunatic), I turn the music up and sing at the top of my lungs...If I am at home cleaning, I dance while I sing and clean. (I can't believe I am sharing this.)

3. I have my own style...I do not dress, or do my hair in any manner of what any current style is...I am SO cheap, (only for myself, I hate spending money on me) I will go to buy myself something and by the time I get to the register, I have talked myself out of buying it. I am also an abnormal girl..I HATE SHOPPING! This is where all the guys say 'Hell ya! Love a girl that hates to shop!"

4. I am old school in the way I do my job. I am in the customer service industry, and I hate bad customer service. I make it my daily goal to give the best customer service I can. I say sir, Mme, Thank you, please, its my pleasure, I shake hands and look people in the eye. My pet peeve is when there are customers in our office and the other girls are having a personal conversation. Personal craps stops the minute you clock in for the shift. But when I am off work, there is a whole different side to me.

5. Geez, this is only #5....I am having to dig REALLY deep...I have a very vivid imagination...It has gotten me into trouble and also lots of fun...And we will leave it at that.

6. Me being a not so girlie girl, was a cheerleader in high school...just because there were people that said I never could do it and bet me. Never tell me I can't do something, that will make me prove I can.

7. Is everyone asleep yet? I have been on my own since I was 14 years old. I have been working since then also. Most of my jobs have been in new construction. I know quite a bit about everything there is to building a house...from what a stud is (not the male kind) to changing out windows, what a lode bearing wall is, to what a wax ring or a pea trap is used for. I can cut and lay tile, I have messed with plumbing and electrical...I can design kitchens...hang drywall, and inspect flooring. I also lay epoxy aggregate flooring. Wanna build a house with me?

8. OMG, I never thought I would get here...I am an absolute dork...I love to be happy and laugh and make others happy and laugh. So I will say and do things just to make someone smile or laugh. I love passing people on the streets and greeting them, just to see them smile. A smile is contagious, so pass one along.

BONUS weirdness about me...I love to play cards, any type of, UNO, solitaire.

And I am not going to tag if you want to do this meme, because I LOVE finding out more about my fellow bloggers, consider yourself tagged.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Muaaaahhhahahaha! (My Crazy Laugh)

Five very brave people volunteered for questions...

Well make that 4, but I refuse to accept one persons answer of he gets questions anyways!

The brave people who volunteered are Enemy, Jay, Greg, Chalice, and the one who didn't volunteer but gets to anyways is Spongy. (ne, ner, ne, ner,) Yep, I sound like a two year old.

Enemy -
1. You are given one million dollars to plan a bloggers get together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.

2. In the last meme, you mentioned something about dead people....expound on that.

3. Name one thing that is your biggest pet peeve and one thing that makes you happy.

4. What is the single happiest memory you have.

5. You can choose bloggers to spend six months in a locked house with. Tell us who and why them.

Jay -
1. You are given one million dollars to plan a bloggers get together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.

2. Describe your dream wife.

3. If you could live anywhere in the entire world where would it be?

4. You love telling us stories from High School, tell us your favorite memory from high school.

5. You can choose bloggers to spend six months in a locked house with. Tell us who and why them.

1.You are given one million dollars to plan a bloggers get together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.

2. Describe a perfect day in your life. What would you be doing? Where would you be?

3. What is the craziest thing you have ever done in your life.

4. If you could change one single thing in your life right now, what would it be?

5. You can choose bloggers to spend six months in a locked house with. Tell us who and why them.

1. You are given one million dollars to plan a bloggers get together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.

2. We all know you LOVE your man! Tell us where you met and how you fell in love.

3. Tell us the craziest story you have ever heard in your job.

4. Tell us what your dream vacation would be.

5. You can choose bloggers to spend six months in a locked house with. Tell us who and why them.

Spongy - Did you think I would forget?? Let you off the hook...NEVER!! Lets see if you have the guts to actually answer...Enemy and I challenge you!
1. You are given one million dollars to plan a bloggers get together. Tell us where, when and what your party is all about.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?

3. Name the single most embarrassing moment in your life.

4. Name the wildest thing you have ever done.

5. You can choose bloggers to spend six months in a locked house with. Tell us who and why them.

Y'all know how this post your questions, answer them and then find out if anyone wants to be asked questions....and the saga continues!!!

HAVE FUN...and Spongy, I damn well better see some answers.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Answering my Luxie's Questions

1. any get to own a planet. How....would you design it?....Like..would it be a circle, square...triangle..planet?? what it be WI FI ready?..and would there be cable?.....would there be bloggers???.....And..would there be taxes???

In all honesty my planet would be a place that all people (all races, religions, and walks of life) would be welcome to be. JUST, breathe, be at peace. I am really into the "community" atmosphere where everyone takes care of everyone. People provide for the poor, there is equality not superiority. Of course there would be blogging, I have met some of the BESTEST (yes, I know that is not a word) people in the world in our blogosphere. I doubt there would be cable, there are so many other ways to entertain people than prime time TV. The planet would be a circle, as a circle is unending and unbroken. It creates unity and ability to grow. The planet would have all color hues, in nature and diversity.

2. What would you name this planet and the creatures inhabiting it...and why that name???....

This question is hard to answer, name? Name? Name? Maybe my fellow bloggers can help me come up with a suitable name for this planet.

3. Now listen clearly....what...whaaat is the wiiiiiiildest ride you have ever ever taken???

Hummm, wildest ride??? What kind of ride? Amusment ride? Car ride? Life ride??? Hummmmm??? I will just answer that by saying life has thrown MANY curves in my direction that have felt like a wild ride and I am still here to tell about it.

4. Where would you rather be right now?

Oh I like this question, and I can answer it without hesitation. I would be at the beach. With my bare feet in the sand. Watching the sun as it dips into the sea.

5. What was the scariest thing you ever saw?????

I have seen many scary things in my life. I think the safest to share will be...
When I was a small child. My (horrible, evil, nasty, mean, did I mention evil) step-dad forced me to watch the Exorcist with him. That movie really, truly terrified me. With the strict religious upbringing I had and all the bullsh*t my mother fed me, I WAS TERRIFIED. and my step dad laughed his ass off. (Ya, I know really swell guy).

So I am supposed to ask if any ones wants me to write questions to them...If ya want questions let me know (I can come up with some good ones) and if not, oh well!

Friday, June 15, 2007


There is not a single genre of music that I am stuck in.

I love it all (almost)! I have an eclectic love of music...Sometimes there is a particular artist that has a sexy voice or the words of the song move me.

I love country music. Its great to swing dance and two -step.

I love alternative music. Much of the music, has the ability to make me think. People think I am weird, but I feel music...

I love rock. There is nothing in the world like a great rock 'n roll song to get you going.

I love Oldies! Just great music.

I have met so many people who are so closed minded. I always hear people say' "I hate ___________" whatever kind of music they think is horrible.

Most people fill that blank in with country music...BUT stop and listen to it for a while...YES there are songs that suck, and there are songs and artists I can't stand, but there is so much great music.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Age is Relative

What makes a person old?

Is it the grey in your hair?

Or the laugh wrinkles around your mouth?

Or is it the way you mentally think?

I believe you are only as old as you make yourself.

I am very lucky, and do consider myself so. I am thirty one, and I still get carded in every bar I go into. If I go into a store to buy a bottle of wine the cashier always asks for ID. They are shocked to find I am not still in my early twenties. And I LOVE IT!!

I think half of my "youth" is I take care of myself. I love life, I love people. I know what I want out of life (I may be a long way off from achieveing it, but my eyes are on the goal).

I think age has made my life better, I would never want to go back to being younger again.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Ask Me!

Over the past few days a few fellow bloggers and I have been having conversations about male and female relationships and the size of their hearts....(Yep, I threw that in just for YOU!)

I am curious what all of you think about what makes the opposite sex attractive to you.

There are many things that I find attractive in the opposite sex.
To list a few:

Personality - he must be able to carry on a conversation (about more than just sports), laugh, be able to see outside of his own small world.

Eyes - I love eyes! I recently did a blog on eyes.

Confidence - Not to be confused with cockiness, I love a man who is confident and willing to be strong.

Romance - I love a man who is able to think of things to make a woman happy...such small insignificant things can please me to no end.

Physique - mmmm,mmmm,mmmm. I love to see sexy backs, shoulders and arms on a man.

Smell - Many woman can be turned on or off by a mans smell....Every single human has their own unique smell....and man there are some men out there that I could just sink my teeth into.

These are just a few small things I find attractive....So tell me what you think.

I have seen a few other blogs where people ask questions or give topics they would like to see written about. I thought that you might have some interesting questions or topics...

So, give it to me....come on ask me anything!

Monday, June 11, 2007


*Sighing heavily*

No energy......

Good night all....

you are all on my mind.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Take me there

I saw this picture and just had to share it...

It reminds me of so many things....

There is beauty, there is a spirituality, there is peace.

This is a place I want to go.

Friday, June 08, 2007


I have been looking at tons of stuff for a tattoo.

Here are some ideas I have some up with.

I am loving the moon...though I kinda like this other moon "face" better.

See, I think she has a gorgeous face. I was thinking of a fairy on a flower, but a moon fits me better. I am a night person and find the moon so appealing. But I don't care for the wings on this fairy. I like the other pictures wings better. They have a more wispy quality to them.

The following picture is what makes a fairy the number one most important thing for me to get a tattoo of. The picture is drawn by my step daughter. She has a huge love of fairy's and is quite the little artist. I so hope that one day she does something with her God given ability. She drew this picture for me for Mothers Day when she was around ten. Since then she had drawn some beautiful original pictures.


You are among the people I hold dear. I worry about your children, your uncles, your fathers, husbands, sisters, jobs and life.

There are so many people that tell me that all of you are fake, spoofs of my imagination. As I am sure there are some people that use their words to reinvent themselves, they are not people that I choose to blog with. Until I start to say, well there is _____. She has two kids and lives in _____. She does this and that and volunteers here. She is dealing with her father going through _______. All of a sudden they realize that you aren't just screen names, but real people who do share much of your lives with the rest of us.

The people I blog with are real. They experience real triumphs, pain, frustration, and are part of my life.

I have had the opportunity to get to know some of your fairly well and many of you know me.

I have been thinking and one of these days, there are many of you that I would love to have the opportunity to warm my arms around your neck and give you a big 'ole hug.

I actually begin and end my day with you guys. Even if I don't have time to blog or comment, I check in and make sure all is good in your lives....

I also want you all to know that I appreciate the roles you play in my own life. Encouraging me, stripping me of chicken feathers, and giving me lots 'o hugs (this girl loves hugs).

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Open My Eyes

They say the eye is the window to the soul. I do believe in that very much. I think that people hide emotion and feelings behind their eyes.

We see beauty, happiness, ugliness, hurt, and pain everyday. These images get locked into our brains.

I also am a firm believer in looking people in the eye. I can not stand it when a person will not make eye contact with me. It makes me feel like they are hiding something, or are a shifty sort.

I think that a person eyes can tell you what they are thinking, how they feel about you and the sort of person they are.

I also find eyes very attractive on both males and females.

So look in to my eye(s) and tell me what you think!!!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

No Aliens

Nope aliens have not snatched my body, nor have I secretly snuck off to get inked.

I have just been working more hours than should be allowed for a human. I get home and my mind is just numb. I want to write and read, but then I usually have a beer as I stuff food down my throat so I can sleep and start the same thing all over again the next day.

Thank God I am off on Thurs and Fri!!!

Well I have made up my mind I am definately getting a tattoo. A friend came up with a great idea for a tattoo and says he has a friend who can draw it. I can't wait to see what they come up with.

I also might go on July 4th to see one of my friends getting more of her done.

Other than that I am fine and dandy, just exhausted....

Friday, June 01, 2007

I want Ink

As inspired by several of my friends, I really want a tattoo. My beautiful friend Echo, is working on a gorgeous masterpeice of her own

Another of my friends has this gorgeous fairy on her side.

I have seriously thought about it for awhile now.

My dilemma is this....I still am trying to figure out exactly what I want. I am going to be baring this the rest of my life, I want it to be something that I still love in 10 years. I love things that are of mystical and mythical type. I love unicorns and fairies, but it seems that everyone has a fairy now. And I don't want what everybody else has.

Maybe someone out there can help me come up with some ideas....I know some of you love being creative, and I am SO not creative.

I want something feminine and sexy looking. I think its weird when chicks get hard looking tats, but thats just my opinion.

My other dilemma is where the heck am I gonna put it. I want it in a place I can cover it up, but also show it if I so choose.

I also am SO not going by myself to get it. C'mon Spongy help me get rid of them chicken feathers!!!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

It Only Hurts Me

"Your a great person".

I am so tired of hearing that. Yes, I know that on the outside the person I am interacts with people I smile and say sweet things. I am soft hearted and love people. I can be charming and funny. I am a genuine person, but there is also the other person in me.

But there is a different side to me. This is where the great person in me stops being great. I hide this dark side well. There is no one that knows these little details about me. I have tried to talk to a few people about how I feel, but I always get "oh, stop! you are a fantastic person!"

I am honestly too chicken to really talk about some of the areas I struggle with. If I could be very honest there are a few people who really would not want much to do with me and that is part of why I keep it hidden. But I also want to sleep at night with out the guilt. I want to not break into tears when I stop for a minute and think about the things I have done and the lies that have been told to keep my secrets. How empowering it would be to be honest with just one person, even if they only turned around to tell me how much they hated me.

Why won't people listen when I try to talk to them. Why do they stick their fingers in their ears and say "lalalalalala." It frustrates me.

I have met so many great people here in bloggerville, these people are strong, they openly share struggles of alcoholism, drug abuse, suiciadal thoughts.

I know that I could go see a physcologist for my issues, but I already know what they are going to tell me. I have issues with abandonment and father issues and abuse issues.

It honestly comes down to me not having the ability to have self control.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Little Break

Sorry, I haven't been blogging much...Lots on my mind. Feeling really disillusioned about some things in my life.

Don't want to sound like drama, but I don't want any of my blogger friends to think I have disappeared. I just have lost my spark to write right now. I still will be visiting my friends....

You will all be in my thoughts and I will return soon, when my muse wakes up, or something like that.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Somebody Stop Me

I had a fantastic, crazy weekend....and now tonight I will crash very, very hard.

There are muscles I didn't even know I had that hurt from dancing and playing.

The bad thing is as hard as I played, I still had to work all weekend. So like a trooper, I played hard, and went to work the next day. For three days in a row....Geez, when I was 20 I could do that non stop, but now not so much.

I hope everyone had a safe and fun weekend. I would love to hear some stories of what everyone else did.

PS - for Gawpo - The part of Oregon I grew up in is the Rogue Valley area, but I also know the coast areas really well, as well as Eugene, Salem, Portand, and many other areas. I had grandparents in Coos Bay. I love Oregon. I have often thought of returning there.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Places to be

In my last post, I asked everyone where their favorite places were.

Many agreed with me that the beach is the place to be.

Others said Europe...I too love Europe, I had an opportunity to see parts of Italy and France. I fell in love with Europe, the people, the buildings, the history...I can't wait to go back, and now I want the opportunity to meet some of my new found blogging friends from there. England will be the next Europe visit.

Others said any body of water will do...

But there is something to be said for standing at the waters edge and gazing into the horizon.

I am so small against the power of the ocean, I love knowing there is the might and the power in the midst of this crazy world.

I remember when I was around 17, a group of us hopped in a van and took a beach trip. We played Frisbee, splashed in the waves, chased each other all over. I remember being exhausted and laying out my towel. I laid down with a perfect view of the guy I had a crush on. I was warm, satisfied and could hear the waves crashing in the background.

I drifted off to sleep. I have no idea how long I slept, but I was shaken awake to get ready to leave and I woke to discover I had the worst sunburn I have ever had in my life....

Moral of the story, don't forget to wear sunscreen this weekend.

HUGS to all of you!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Run away with me to the Beach.

Oh, what I would give to be there right now....

Everyone has a favorite place in the world to be....Mine is the beach, walking along barefoot, with the sand all over my feet.

Where is your favorite place??

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Free as Can be

Running down the road as fast as my skinny little legs would go...

Upon entering my house, I would fling down my backpack, and as I am running down the hall...

Off came the pinchy shoes, off came the skirt and itchy blouse, leaving a trail of school clothes behind.

I would slip into my stained, torn shorts and t-shirt, and tiptoe barefooted out the sliding glass door.

I would go to my favorite spot in the world.

It held all my secrets, it was the door to my imagination and delight.

On my way up, my feet caught all the right spots that had been worn from climbing so many times. Once at the top, I would shimmy into my spot. From this spot I had the best view of the humming bird feeder, and a nearby branch that I could rest my book on and lose myself in my next adventure.

I would lean back, my feet swinging in the breeze....

From high in the branches, I was in my castle. I was safe from anything on the ground. All the worries, scares and sadness were gone.

Up there I was a princess. A princess in torn jeans and t-shirt.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Just a rant

Warning, this is a rant and rave, you are being fore warned that this is not a pretty little blog...If you want to bypass this episode, I completely understand, and I am not looking for sympathy, just expressing my feeling...

I just don't understand.

Why does a mother who tells you, I begged God to give me a baby. Say in the next breathe, but I wanted a boy. "I don't understand, why God didn't give me a boy."

Why in a moment she could change from being a woman that could just ignore me, and go into a rage a moment later, leaving me to bear the bruises and scars. Actually, I do understand this one, she is sick. But I don't want to understand right now. I want to be angry that I never had a mom, just an angry old lady that is mad at the world.

Why does a mother tell her daughter that its ok to be the ugly duckling, so she doesn't have to worry about me being interested in boys.

Why after all these years being apart from my mother, is she able to say things that just break my heart. Why would she ask me if I am still an ugly duckling and allude to the fact that perhaps it is my looks that are keeping me from more out of life.

She doesn't understand that I am happy with my life. I am satisfied with the person I have become, and no matter what the damn woman says...I AM BEAUTIFUL. Maybe not to all people, but there are people who think I am and that is all that matters to me.

She has asked me to forgive her time and time again. And I do, and I will continue to. I just wish I could have a mom to talk to and share with. I never had the chance to get all pretty for a dance and have my mom take pictures or share tears with me over a silly boy.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Art of Learning

This is supposed to be a meme, tagged by none other than the famous Greg at Greg's General Store. But education is so important to me, that I decided to make this just a regular blog. I will answer the questions, but also add more of my own thoughts to it.

What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6?

I have to honestly say there is not a single teacher that stands out to me during these years of my life. Honestly most of the teachers thought I was stupid. Little did they know I was severely hearing impaired. After a few operations, I could hear better, and my grades started going up.

The teachers that made the biggest impact in my life was my 8Th grade teacher, Sandra Bryant and my High School Jr. English teacher Mr. Rensi.

What subject did you favor in high school?

My favorite subject was/is English.

Did you attend a university and if so, did you attain a degree?

I have attended college, but still no degree. I am slowly and painfully working my way to a bachelors in business management. it may be years before I finish, but I am bound and determined to do it for me.

Do you learn best through books, by watching, or hands - on?

I can learn by all three, but I am very much a hands on person. I like to be able to touch it, see it, feel it, and experience it for myself.

Has education been an ongoing process for you? How do you feel about that?

Yes, education is truly on ongoing experience for me. I feel that when a person stops striving to learn and grow, they are giving up the very thing that keeps us going. Everyday I learn something new.

My father was very, very educated. I have always admired him and wanted to attend college. To my consternation when my dad moved me to California to go to college, his oh so lovely wife at the time decided that I would attend Beauty College instead of regular college. I did attend, I hated it and refuse to get a job doing hair. (Not saying there is a single thing wrong with it, it just wasn't for me.)

Several years later I tried attending a city college and that was horrible. The teachers didn't care and all the other students wanted to do was talk about the next freaking party coming up. (Not that I didn't want to have fun, but I was paying for the classes with my own money and wanted to get something out of it.)

Next I attended three years of online classes and I won't even say how horrible and a waste of time that was. I recently found out that most of those classes are not even transferable.

So as I said earlier one of these days I will earn my degree....but just for me.

So since this is a meme on education, if ya feel so inclined consider yourself tagged otherwise I will see you all on my next trip around the blogosphere.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Out of the Mouths of Moms

I am sitting here shaking my head. I cannot believe the conversation I just had with my mom. It was surreal.

I have to be honest and say, I am not close to my mom. I wish I was, but she does not allow any one in and if you do get close watch out...the Bible will be permanently shoved down your throat.

But I love my mother despite her short comings and today I called to wish her a Happy Mothers Day. I believe the following conversation will show that in desperate times, even a Bible thumping mom, will bend the rules a bit.

Our conversation went something like this....

Brrrrring, brrrring...

Her: Hello, hello...hello??????

Me: Mom its me , mooommm, its me. MOM!

Her: Oh HIIII sweetie. How are you? whatareyoudoing? areyougoing tochurch?areyoueating?

Me: Uhhh, yes!?!

Me: I just wanted to wish you a Happy Mothers Day.

Her: Thanks...

Then I won't bore you with the middle part, it's boring....but then as we were getting ready to hang up, my mother pulled a real whopper on me. She never fails to amaze me.

Me: Well, mom I better be going.

Her: ok, so....when are you going to get pregnant?

Me: WHAT?????? You know there are some crucial elements necessary for that to happen, right mom???

Her: Oh, well I figure that you could just find some good looking guy to sleep with you and you could have a baby. Because I want a grandbaby.

Me: OMG, I can't believe you just said that!!!!!!!

Her: Well, honey you do have to have sex to have a baby, and I want a grandbaby.

Me: ummmm, yes mom I know you have to have sex to have babies, but I am so not having this conversation with you. Mkay- bye mom.

So my mom that is a God fearing, Bible thumping mother, who is against sex outside of marriage of any kind, wants me to find some guy and just ask him to have a kid with me... Yeah, that wasn't weird or awkward at allllll. Side note...I have two step children who are her grandkids, but I have not had my own child, and that seems to be what all of our conversations as of late have been about.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Fire! Fire!

It kills me to turn on the news right now...

California, Florida and Minnesota are going up in flames. There are probably more areas, but I don't know about them.

California did not get near enough rain this year. It is going to be nuts this year.

BE CAREFUL. If you are a smoker, DO NOT THROW YOUR FREAKIN BUTTS OUT THE WINDOW!!!! There are more fires started this way.

Please keep the men and women who fight these major forest fires in your thoughts and prayers. I know several people who are on a hotshot team and they put their lives on the line everyday to keep these wildland forest fires from consuming entire towns.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I want to know WHY?

EDITED to include more details as people were asking why this was about the rich and not just the kid.

Why do some (not all) people with money think they are better than others? What gives them the right to be so rude? To look down on us common folk and sneer? Do parents of rich kids really think that throwing money at them will give them love or make a bad situation better?

Lately working at my new job, I have run into some very....interesting people, they have money and are not afraid to make demands. Just the other day, I had to gently remind a lady that these were apartments and not a custom home.

But I actually want to share this:

I heard a story today about a rich family that lives here locally. It disturbed me...greatly.

The story starts off that a local police officer was looking for a wanted young man. After asking the family and some of the young mans friends, he was found living with some friends and their parents.

When this officer went to go pick up the kid the other mother was in hysterics. She couldn't understand why the poor, unfortunate, misunderstood kid was being hauled off to jail. The officer asked her if the young man had told her the story about why he was being taken to jail.

The mother answered that the young man had told her that his parents didn't love him and had abused him. She thought she was taking this young man into her home to protect and shield him.

The officer then told her that the young man came from a very influential family, and that he was wanted for stabbing his mother with a BBQ fork (you know the ones with the long prongs to turn over meat). The mother was laying in a hospital suffering while this young man was saying he was being abused.

Why you ask, did he stab the mother??? He stayed out very late partying the night before and when he woke up late in the afternoon, he demanded that his mother make him breakfast. When she refused, and started to walk outside, he followed and stabbed her.

The sad thing is, he tried to deny the whole story.........

BUT coming from an influential family, the entire thing was caught on the family's surveillance tapes...Along with him saying he was "gonna kill you, for not making breakfast."

Even more of a tragedy is this young man has a history of violence. Instead of the parents giving him love, attention and some discipline, they through money at the problem. He wants for nothing material wise. Maybe when he was younger he got in small amounts of trouble so he could get his parents attention, and it escalated as he got older. Who knows what the psychology is, I just find the situation sad. I truly feel for the family as a whole. There was some element missing from their structure....

I am sure their is more to the story...there are the mental and emotional sides. Was it a drug induced attack? Did the young man feel loved by his family? There are so many elements that go into what was going on in the young mans mind. The whole thing makes me sad.

I am far from being rich, or even being considered well off...I don't think money is evil, but I think that the greed and motive behind the money can make you do terrible things and become a terrible person.

I also realize this is not just a "rich" problem, but that there are people everywhere who are experiencing these kinds of problems, but I was more frustrated that the rich throw money at a problem rather than taking a minute to maybe seek the root cause of a problem. I also have nothing against money, in fact I really like money.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

OH Baby!

Man, I am loving the new job, but I get home so late...I have no energy to blog. I miss blogging, so here is a short and sweet one.

I wanted to share with my blog family the new baby!

Her name is Iliana....I am told that she is a good little eater and sleeper....I do hope to be able to see and hold her soon. I am beginning to like this grandma thing....

Well, I am off to bed, just wanted to share the new little angel with you.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

This is my hundredth post and in honor of that I have given a special interview from Dorky Dad. (Ok, not really, but it sounded good)

Question 1: Tomorrow is your last day on Earth. What do you do?

Whaaaa! I am gonna die tomorrow! Whaaaaa.... Ok, I am over it. What would I do? Well since I am a soft hearted, sentimental person, I would make sure that all the people I love know I love them. And then I would do something extreme I have never done...jump out of a plane, or ...or...something like that. (no not really, because everyone who really knows me, knows I am a chicken, but if it was my last day...who knows, maybe I would try it.) I would also eat all the foods that I love....lobster, shrimp, desserts. Yummmm, I am hungry now.

Question 2: Why did you start blogging?

*Snicker* I honestly started blogging because I was bored, but the story goes like this. I worked at this Company and Chucky was always talking about his blog. So Echo and I asked a bunch of questions and I read his blog and decided to start one of my own. Nothing too exciting, but I am addicted to blogging now.

When I first started blogging, one day I thought I would venture out and check out a few other blogs. I read one and it was ok, kinda boring, moved on to the next one and it was about S & M and spanking and I ran back to my safe little corner didn't venture out to any other blogs for a long time.

Question 3: You say you are a "grandma." What is your idea of the perfect retirement?

I am still getting used to the idea of being a gramma...I have told a few people, that I am a gramma and I keep getting funny looks and the ask, How old are you??? I am having way too much fun with that. Have to brag a minute, the baby is beautiful. I will post a picture tomorrow.

Perfect retirement is being able to be financially set, so that I can travel (one of my goals is to meet some of the wonderful people I blog with), relax, garden, spoil grandkids, and just live. I don't want much, just to be able to do the things I want to do.

Question 4: Some goofball wizard decides to turn you into a vegetable, but is kind enough to give you your choice. What do you choose and why?

Dorky, what were you drinking when you came up with this question??? Lets see, do I want to be a vegetable that I like? Or one I don't like? Do I want to be eaten or left somewhere to rot? OMG there are so many decisions...can't think....

Broccoli - It can be eaten many ways and people love broccoli. I want to be a loved vegetable. I want people to rush to the store and buy me, because they can't wait to steam me and serve me beside their fillet Mignon.

Question 5: You are in a room, alone, with Donald Trump. What do you do?

First of all let me say, there is no way possible I would ever be alone in a room with this man. Why him, couldn't I have been alone with some hot, hunk of a man. Or if not a hot one, at least one I like????

Oh, I could have so much fun with this question, but alas I will behave myself.

Honestly, other than tearing off that terrible hair piece off, I probably would ignore him. But I think that would drive him crazy, as he is used to being the center of attention. He would talk to me and I would pretend he does not exist. I think the man is annoying and despicable. Oh, and I would tell him "Your Fired!"

OK, I am ending this interview now, mostly because I have no more questions to answer. And now I DARE YOU to let me interview YOU.

C'mon. What are you afraid of?

Here's what to do:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

See its simple...really. No, really.

Sunday, April 29, 2007


Over the last few days a few of my blog friends have written blogs that are making me think...Enemy of the Republic, Anne, Spongy.

I keep starting and restarting this blog. I know what I want to say, but I can not put the words down. Maybe it will be easier to start with my own background.

My mom, is a hardcore, staunch, black and white, wrong and right, her way only, scripture quoting, Bible toting christian. I grew up in this environment. Even though I went to a christian school, my mom was judgemental of all my friends. Her skirt was too short, or how dare her mother allows her to wear makeup. I was pretty much a loner, because my mom chased all my friends away with her judgemental self.

I remember my mother shouting down hell, fire and brimstone if she saw a pregnant young girl. If there was a gay young person, she would preach at them. I remember wanting the earth to open and swallow me out of embarrassment. And God forbid I tell her to stop, she would turn on me and tell me that if I was not for God then I was against God. That if I was sitting on the fence, I would be spewed out of his mouth.

Yep, those were the days....Today, I don't have my mind made up on all issues, but I do know that I do not judge people based on their color, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs. I have friends of many different races, of different sexual orientations and different beliefs. I love each one of them the same and though, I may not always agree with them, I do not judge them.

I myself was in an interracial marriage. It was really hard. There was a clash of cultures, friends and family. People told my darker skinned husband that we would never make it, I was just a stupid white girl. That I wouldn't "get" him. That someone of his own race would take better care of him than I could. Though, our marriage did break up (we were together over 10 years) it was not due to it being a racial issue.

I have friends that are black and nothing makes me angrier than when other black or white people make racist comments about me or my friends. The racism goes both ways. My girlfriend gets just as much crap as I do.

Why does it matter color of skin, sexual orientation, or beliefs??? There are bad and good in all people and places. The God I know told us to love all people, not just the ones who are easy to love and accept...all people.

There is so much more to this, but I am still having a hard time expressing my thoughts and feelings, this is a blog that I will expound on more at a later time.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

So much Drama!

People astound me....

I am getting into my new job, and am being blown away by people.

The majority of the people that are renting are people recently going through a divorce or people getting ready to divorce and want a place for when they break the news.

We have another couple that is there in top secret. The apartment is in her name only. He can't because he is someone famous and he can't let his ex know he is remarried or living there.

People walk into rent an apartment and I find out more about them in 15 minutes time. I know the ones who are getting divorced, using them as a love nest and the ones who are hiding from ex's.

Why would you open up that much??? I don't think I have ever laid bare my soul to a girl renting me an apartment.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

It doesn't Hurt.

I try to tell myself it doesn't hurt. As of today I. am. a. gramma.

I was not there for the birth, neither was her father. We were not welcome. This hurts him far more than it hurts me. When he called me 4 times tonight to let me know the status, the hurt was raw in his voice.

I wonder who this little girl has become. The little girl I raised was a delight, she was spirited, a jabber jaw, precious, innocent, an artist, and determined. She was determined to not become what her own mother was (remember I was the step-mom). Her own mother was a teenage mom and then didn't want to have kids. She was determined to become something, she ranged between wanting to be a pediatrician and an artist. (She has a genuine God given artists ability, she draws very, very well). I encouraged her to follow her heart.

When I decided that a divorce from her daddy was appropriate, it broke me that I had to leave these kids, but since I was only a step mom, I had no leverage what so ever over those kids.

I found out in October that my baby was having a baby. Over the past 4 months, it has been a real burden and heartache. She decided to run away from home, as her father demanded that the young man show some respect and was not allowed at the house without an adult being present. I think right now I am hurting more for her dad, than for me...that is his flesh and blood and he was told not to come to the hospital as he was not welcome. He is finding out the details from gramma.

I just want to know where my little jabber jaw went and when she was replaced with this arrogant, little girl, that thinks she is an adult.

Monday, April 23, 2007

First Day

Started my new job today. It was full of new faces and forms to fill out.

Then we were informed we were going to go through the sexual harassment course. I have been through so many I could do it asleep, so I thought no problem. The HR person took us to a learning center and seated us. She set us up on our own computers and explained that we did the work books and then took a test at the end that we had to pass at 70% or better.

I hate tests....hate 'em!

This was the most thorough sexual harassment training course I have ever taken. It explained every single nuance of harassment and gave examples and defined each and every term. It was a three hour long process, but I scored a 96% wooohooo for me.

Then I found out for my position I have many other tests that I must pass...uck! So I spent all day today sitting on my butt at a computer learning about the Fair Housing Act, and Leasing for Life and tomorrow is more tests.

The fair housing act was actually interesting, it was really based on history and gave dates and events as to when the federal government started changing laws against discrimination.

I found out that Federal law is the big over all laws, then it break down further in state and get detailed as it breaks down to local law.

I am not allowed to ask any question what so ever that might make a person feel like I am discriminating in any way. I even have to take notes down as to when people call asking about an availability so I can not be sued.


Mrs. Henry calls at 10 am looking for a 2 bedroom unit, there are none available.
Mr. Jones give a 30 day notice at 3 pm.
Mr and Mrs. Smith come in at 3:30 looking for a two bedroom unit.

I have to document the time and dates so that Mrs. Henry can not come back in and say I discriminated against her by not giving her the apartment.

There are SOOO many rules and regulations. Its nuts!

But overall the more I find out about the company, I am super excited. It seems like a great place to work.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Shame on ME!

This weekend I went to Salinas to visit my dear friend. She is quite a bit older than me and I call her mom. She actually looks like she could be my mom. She is reliving her youth and has been doing so for several years. She parties harder than I do. Weekends spent with her exhaust me.

I drove over Friday afternoon and we went to dinner, then she wanted to head over to the American Legion. It was pretty packed with people, though the average age was about 80. I did get asked to dance quite a bit. Had a few drinks and watched "mom" do shots of Patron. She is dangerous when taking shots (ever heard the song "tequila makes her clothes fall off?")

Our group closed down the legion and she still wanted to party, so we headed over to a local hole in the wall bar and there was karoke. She LOVES karoke, alot!!!! So she put in a few songs. I do not do karoke under any circumstances at all!

While in there, I was a bit nervous as I dislike crowded bars. I was overtly looking around so, I could figure out where people were, and if I felt there needed to be any worry of fights etc. I ordered a glass of wine and was trying to drink it. I saw two BIG girls pointing at me, and I really got nervous.

A few minutes later I realize there is someone openly staring at me. I glance to my left and there is a man getting another beer. He points to the bottle and nods, not saying a word. Then he turns and openly stares at me. I really dislike that! I purposely dog him and turn my body to ignore him. Finally he grabs his beer and walks away. The crowd in the bar started to thin out a bit and I relaxed.

A few guys came up to ask me to dance, I was starting to have a little fun, but I kept noticing the same guy was staring at me. I told "mom" that I was wanting to go home, she didn't want to. I sighed and started talking to some girl standing next to me. A few minutes later someone bumps into me, I turned to say Excuse ME! and its the guy that had been staring at me. I was about to unleash holy hell on him, when he starting signing to me that he was deaf. Boy, did I feel like crap. Thank God I know some sign language, he said sorry for staring he was trying to get my attention. We ended up talking (signing), he was a super sweet guy.

But shame on me for judging him. I am going to be very honest. When I first saw him staring I immediately labeled him in my mind. And let me tell you the labels I put on him were rude and mean. I judged this poor man based on how he looked and his actions, rather than who he was.

So that is why I say shame on me!

Friday, April 20, 2007

2nd Try

Yesterday, I tried to write this blog and blogger decided to eat my post, so I am trying this again.

My new job is with the largest property management company here in my local area. My new position is a leasing agent at a brand new property that is being built in Clovis, Ca.

The company offers many perks for their employees, starting with the usual benefits, and 401k, vacation, sick days and many ways to earn bonus'.

Yesterday, was an interesting day for me. I got to see the reality of the company and meet all the owners and bigwigs. There was an annual training day that they asked me to attend even though I don't officially start until Monday. I got to see the benefit of working for a very large company and I also got to see some of the daily challenges I will face.

I am a people watcher and I was seated in the back of the room and got to watch all of the interaction of the employees and the training staff. It was so interesting to watch.

There were the people that have been with the company for years and were know-it-alls, and did not want to change to the new policies.

There were others that were fairly new like me and were lost (like me).

There were others that just kept repeating "I just don't get it!"

and many other personalities. I was impressed with the training staff, as they tried very hard to answer all questions but also keep the training machine moving forward.

For me it was just information overload. Thank God I was sitting next to the girl I will be working with and she explained things to me as we went along.

California has some crazy laws about what is considered "Fair Housing Act". There are SO many rules and regulations. I have so much to learn, but I love a challenge and pretty soon (hopefully) I will be leasing apartments like a pro.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


I freaking hate blogger.....I just got through typing a LONG blog about my new job and the interesting day I had and I hit PUBLISH and the entire blog disappeared....

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


I got the joobbbb, I got the jooooobbbbb. Whoooohoooooooo.

Geez talk about taking off a burden. Its contingent upon passing a drug test....I will have no problem with that....

I have been so stressed out over not having a job. I feel so much better now. Thanks to all of you that have had me in their thoughts.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Random Thoughts

I have so much to say, but with all the thoughts buzzing around in my head, nothing is simply flowing from my thoughts to my fingertips....

First I wanted to mention the tragedy that occurred today at Virginia Tech. So sad that so many lives were lost. Seems if the school had reacted faster there may have been less life lost. I am NOT attacking the school, but just concerned that they thought an email two hours after the first shooting was sufficient. But having so little information available yet, does little to help us understand what happened. My heart goes out to all of the students and their families.

I have not been blogging as much as I normally do since returning from my vacation. My heart has not been in it. First I returned to the news of Baron passing, and the next day I went into work and was laid off. I don't understand why they even brought me back if things were that bad for the company, but that is another blog of its own.

I have never drawn unemployment, and never thought I would need to, don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have that to fall back on, but I really want to work. I enjoy working and being productive. I have been so depressed, I know that I did not cause this, but I have been depressed none the less.

Don't even get me started on trying to find a job again. I get sick of having to "sell" myself. And if I see one more "must be bilingual" I am gonna....well I am not gonna do anything, but why do I have to be bilingual just to get a job in my country where I was born and raised...that boils my blood. Now, I am not being judgemental or racial...I do speak quite a bit of Spanish, but not enough for a job or to be considered bilingual.

But on the brighter side I did have an interview today and it seemed to go very well, they said I would know their decision by the end of the week....Please send good job vibes my way....

Friday, April 13, 2007

My Vacation in Pictures!

My first stop was to play in Disney World for a few days.....

I played with Dinosaurs and ran all over Disney world....

After a week of wearing myself out...I boarded the Carnival Mircle for a week of fun and...

Some adult beverages....

We stopped in Crand Cayman, Cozumel, Belize, Costa Maya...Did you know that in Belize that English is the first language. In Cozumel, Belize and Costa Maya I took tours to look at all the ancient Mayan Ruins. Some of them were off limits to people walking on them and others were open to having people walk on them.

In Cozumel there were guys that were dressing up in "authentic" clothing and you could take pictures with them...

There were some of the most gorgeous beaches I have ever laid eyes on....

Wow, can you believe some of the incredible beauty that is out there?

Simply gorgeous....I love taking pictures of nature, can you tell?

Oh and did I mention that I made many new friends while on this trip....

Unfortunately they wouldn't give me a phone # or address to stay in touch.....