I am sitting here shaking my head. I cannot believe the conversation I just had with my mom. It was surreal.
I have to be honest and say, I am not close to my mom. I wish I was, but she does not allow any one in and if you do get close watch out...the Bible will be permanently shoved down your throat.
But I love my mother despite her short comings and today I called to wish her a Happy Mothers Day. I believe the following conversation will show that in desperate times, even a Bible thumping mom, will bend the rules a bit.
Our conversation went something like this....
Her: Hello, hello...hello??????
Me: Mom its me , mooommm, its me. MOM!
Her: Oh HIIII sweetie. How are you? whatareyoudoing? areyougoing tochurch?areyoueating?
Me: Uhhh, yes!?!
Me: I just wanted to wish you a Happy Mothers Day.
Then I won't bore you with the middle part, it's boring....but then as we were getting ready to hang up, my mother pulled a real whopper on me. She never fails to amaze me.
Me: Well, mom I better be going.
Her: ok, so....when are you going to get pregnant?
Me: WHAT?????? You know there are some crucial elements necessary for that to happen, right mom???
Her: Oh, well I figure that you could just find some good looking guy to sleep with you and you could have a baby. Because I want a grandbaby.
Me: OMG, I can't believe you just said that!!!!!!!
Her: Well, honey you do have to have sex to have a baby, and I want a grandbaby.
Me: ummmm, yes mom I know you have to have sex to have babies, but I am so not having this conversation with you. Mkay- bye mom.
So my mom that is a God fearing, Bible thumping mother, who is against sex outside of marriage of any kind, wants me to find some guy and just ask him to have a kid with me... Yeah, that wasn't weird or awkward at allllll. Side note...I have two step children who are her grandkids, but I have not had my own child, and that seems to be what all of our conversations as of late have been about.