Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I want to know WHY?

EDITED to include more details as people were asking why this was about the rich and not just the kid.

Why do some (not all) people with money think they are better than others? What gives them the right to be so rude? To look down on us common folk and sneer? Do parents of rich kids really think that throwing money at them will give them love or make a bad situation better?

Lately working at my new job, I have run into some very....interesting people, they have money and are not afraid to make demands. Just the other day, I had to gently remind a lady that these were apartments and not a custom home.

But I actually want to share this:

I heard a story today about a rich family that lives here locally. It disturbed me...greatly.

The story starts off that a local police officer was looking for a wanted young man. After asking the family and some of the young mans friends, he was found living with some friends and their parents.

When this officer went to go pick up the kid the other mother was in hysterics. She couldn't understand why the poor, unfortunate, misunderstood kid was being hauled off to jail. The officer asked her if the young man had told her the story about why he was being taken to jail.

The mother answered that the young man had told her that his parents didn't love him and had abused him. She thought she was taking this young man into her home to protect and shield him.

The officer then told her that the young man came from a very influential family, and that he was wanted for stabbing his mother with a BBQ fork (you know the ones with the long prongs to turn over meat). The mother was laying in a hospital suffering while this young man was saying he was being abused.

Why you ask, did he stab the mother??? He stayed out very late partying the night before and when he woke up late in the afternoon, he demanded that his mother make him breakfast. When she refused, and started to walk outside, he followed and stabbed her.

The sad thing is, he tried to deny the whole story.........

BUT coming from an influential family, the entire thing was caught on the family's surveillance tapes...Along with him saying he was "gonna kill you, for not making breakfast."

Even more of a tragedy is this young man has a history of violence. Instead of the parents giving him love, attention and some discipline, they through money at the problem. He wants for nothing material wise. Maybe when he was younger he got in small amounts of trouble so he could get his parents attention, and it escalated as he got older. Who knows what the psychology is, I just find the situation sad. I truly feel for the family as a whole. There was some element missing from their structure....

I am sure their is more to the story...there are the mental and emotional sides. Was it a drug induced attack? Did the young man feel loved by his family? There are so many elements that go into what was going on in the young mans mind. The whole thing makes me sad.

I am far from being rich, or even being considered well off...I don't think money is evil, but I think that the greed and motive behind the money can make you do terrible things and become a terrible person.

I also realize this is not just a "rich" problem, but that there are people everywhere who are experiencing these kinds of problems, but I was more frustrated that the rich throw money at a problem rather than taking a minute to maybe seek the root cause of a problem. I also have nothing against money, in fact I really like money.

32 comments:

captain corky said...

That's crazy stuff. I've been pretty mad at mom at times, but I never thought about stabbing her with a fork. the kid just sounds like an asshole. I don't think drugs had anything to do with the stabbing.

Gardener Greg said...

This story upsets me. I have a friend going through a similar situation. She has a friend of her sons living with her because his parents threw him out but I fear there is more to the story. I see the same thing around here. People with money think that money make anything happen. It is really sad. Thanks for the post.

Greg

Bardouble29 said...

Corky - I have been mad at my own mom before, but never wanted to stab her...the whole thing was sad to me.

Greg - Tell your friend to me cautious, but remember not all homeless kids are bad. I was homeless at the age of 14.

Enemy of the Republic said...

Well, I've dealt with this unfortunate aspect of the human condition as well. Our society rewards those with money, not simply because of consumerism, but it represents a successful work ethic. If you are poor, you must be a loser who didn't work hard enough. If you are rich, you embraced the independent American way. It is indifferent as to whether you sold your soul or killed every living relative to gain your monetary power; you are now the shit.

Bardouble29 said...

Enemy- I love the way you stated it. I must not be the "shit" then because I haven't killed any...yet. And I don't have much, just enough to keep me happy and sassified.

kate said...

there is always one in a crowd... one that makes all the rest seem bad too... I think that you ran across that... ok prehaps there are more than just that one, but not all 'rich' people are that way. I know many that are amazingly humble people.

Shrink wrapped scream said...

I'm confused. Where does money, or no money come into it? The kid's brain is mashed for sure, but rich or poor, dysfunctional families litter our world, it's just a sad fact..

(On a lighter note, how's that adorable little grandaughter of yours?)

Bardouble29 said...

Kate - I know not all are like that noticeat the beginning of the blog I said some (not all) I also know some that are the kindest people in the world...it is the few that make the many look bad.

Shrink wrap Scream - I guess I should have elaborated a little more in the blog. This young man has a history of violence and every time he got in trouble his parents through money at the problem, instead of their love, attention and some discipline. And I am not saying it is just people who have money.

And the grandaughter is getting cuter by the day!!!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I guess I got hardened through the service industry. I have yet to meet a decent rich person. Sure, I know they exist: there are celebrities who I admire: Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock, Magic Johnson--they give back to the world. But maybe I haven't dealt with the truly rich. I believe the arrogance comes from believing in the bs that society has taught them; I have known people with money who are not generous, yet poor people will help out any in a time of need. I see it as almost a reliving of the Good Samaritan--he that is most despised by society finds mercy for those who are hurting. Again, this has just been my experience.

Anne said...

Maybe rich people aren't always as rude and crazy as they appear... but they certainly do give that appearance.

Bardouble29 said...

Enemy - Time and again, in my own experiences I too have seen the poor give off their own backs for people, and well off give what is extra. Not always, but in many cases. There are those celebritys you mentioned that do give to world causes, but I would like people who are living on the next street over to give also...

Anne - I agree with you, I know there are good ones out there, I have just not run across them...

Jay said...

That is a very disturbing story all the way around. I know a number of kids who are spoiled and treated just like that dude. It's scary.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Do parents of rich kids really think that throwing money...will... make a bad situation better
Unfortunately Bardouble sometimes it seems to be the reality. Looking at something less intense, let's say cavities, it seems that in fact, having parents with money to invest in things such as toothepaste & regular cleanings, in fact, do make the situation better...less cavities for the children.
Intense behavior such as this young mans seems to be more common among those who come from a lower socio-economic level...ie, the methhead that robs his granny to get his drugs, the mother that pimps her daughter at 12 & so on.

Perhaps the root of the problems are much deeper than ones' financial position & how they spend their money. Dysfunction does not seem to discriminate based on income. Look at Hollywood, 1/2 of them are dysfunctional. IMHO, it seems more prevalent among the lower socio-economic levels perhaps because they cannot afford (counseling, therapy etc)to address the socio-issues as well as the rich can. A case like this, IMHO, is more scandulous(and thus more lucrative to the media) because it 'seems' as if the kid had rec'd everything he needed.
Nonetheless, this young man sounds manipulative & out of control. I wish the best for him & his family.

Bardouble29 said...

Jay - It is scary...I wish there were ways to reach out to people like him...he is so young to be throwing his life away.

SLB - So very well said, and you are right money in many situations helps kids have a better life, but in this case I think it hurt the young man also. I actually heard this story from an officer, not through the media...This was an officer who knew the family and had been called out many times to deal with them more than once.

Our conversation started when I made a comment about money and the officer said let me tell you a story....

susan said...

I think it probably starts with wanting the very best from your child. Rembember my friend's daughter who's in big trouble now? Her parents adore her and she was spoiled rotten. Anything she wanted was hers, she had no chores, her mother (who grew up dirt poor) catered to her every whim. Then things started getting really out of hand so it all went bad.

They would throw money towards getting her "fixed" but she doesn't want that...but it's all because they wanted the best for her.

On the other hand, I have a friend who is just squeeking by finacially, she spoils her child by giving her all sorts of "treats" and letting her stay home from school whenever she wants. Now this very overweight, zit faced 13 yo is failing school. She doesn't know how to make it right...but she too, allowed this because she cared and thought she was showing her child this.

It breaks my heart in both cases...what's worse is that I could see it happening and neither parent would believe it.

Can you tell this has hit a sore spot?

Bardouble29 said...

Susan - yes, I too many times have seen a parent hurting their child unintentionally...

I have friends that ingore their children. The kids...say "mom. moom. Mommy. MOOOmmmyy, MOMMMMM! and the parent finally says, WHAT????

I used to make a particular friend made, because I would answer the child and ask what they needed.

When I was raising my two step kids, they knew better than to interrupt, but they also knew that if they needed me I would not ignore them, so they didn't feel the need to act out.

Kati said...

Jeebs!!!! There are certainly some pretty trippy people in this world. This jury duty has been an eye-opener as well.

With ya, though, I don't think it's money that makes people screwy, it's the adoration of money (and the commitment to making more at whatever cost) that makes people screwy. Sorry to hear about this kid who's been raised without morals, without value for anything more than $$.

Another thought provoking post, Barb. (((HUGS)))

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Rich or not the kid did it because he chose to, it's that simple.

If I ruled the world I would make everyone wait tables for a year. I honestly think that people might have a little more respect for each other. I'd make the rich wait tables at Waffle House and truck stops (and they'd have to live off the money they make with no help from the trust fund). The poor would wait tables at fancy resturants. I think I'd just sic the middle class on itself.

Anonymous said...

G'Mornin' BarD...just wanted to bob back in & apologize for rambling on a tangent & TY for such a thought provoking post;) before I head out to work.
SLB

Craig D said...

Oooh, you've touch a nerve, here!

There indeed does seem to be a strata of people who seem to think having money means they have class, deserve to be treated as special, can be as rude as they want, etc.

I could go on for paragraphs, but won't. I feel your pain!

Bardouble29 said...

Kati - I bet being on Jury Duty was a big eye opener. People just want to blame what they have done on everyone else.

Whim - I really like that idea...I was a waitress for three years. Very hard work for such little pay and no benefits...That would be a real eye opener for them.

SLB- Never apologize!!! I am so glad that you rambled on. I love reading about the different thoughts and prespectives that everyone brings to a subject. You are always welcome with a smile and a cup of coffee!

Craig - Yes, it is a touchy subject. Maybe I should take out the fact that he was wealthy and the kid of a well known Fresno family. Mainly I feel bad for the family and the kid. There has to be more to it than, he was just a bad kid so lock him up.

SpongyBones said...

Thank God I'm poor. How disturbing that our world is like this.

RockDog said...

Sad story all around...kid who doesn't get enough affection and a Mom with two holes in her chest.

PS...I love money...money not so in love with me ;)

Beth said...

oh, I like money too!!! But I never seem to have enough of it. And I always think that, if I just had a little bit more, my life would be so wonderful..yada, yada,...when in fact, it's pretty good right now. I have good kids who don't get into too much trouble, and they appreciate the things they DO get. Not too bad.

Wizened Wizard said...

I've known some very wonderful rich people and some real scumbags who were poor - and vice versa. One difference is that the rich ones can throw money at a problem and the poor ones can't.

The dysfunctional family that's poor is dysfunctional and therefore can't solve their problems. The dysfunctional family that's rich is also dysfunctional and therefore can't solve their problems, but observers are quick to note when they throw money at the situation.

singleton said...

Well, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, but from my little "we're broke, but not poor" world.....
we've been enriched in a thousand other ways....
No designer clothes, late model cars, hell, sometimes no electricity....but we have empathy and balls and a circle...and we believe...and we try....
Yup, the rich get richer....

Dorky Dad said...

Just goes to show you that money does not take care of all problems.

BLOGGING DOES!!

Or maybe blogging just helps me forget that I have responsibilities or something. I can't remember which.

LADY LUXIE said...

I like money too!..Sometimes I try to imagine what it would feel like to have so much..you know...like you never have to think twice for a pair of diamonds or signature bag...

I wonder sometimes if I would still be the same me if I had more money than I could hold..I wonder how I would speak or act in front of others...I wonder how I would treat my kids....

This is a sad story...but everything has its roots...this one most evidently digs deep...

have a great weekend :>

dawn said...

MY experience with this is the ones who want for nothing have no regard or respect for anything or anyone

skinnylittleblonde said...

Thank you so much! I could have probably used a cup of coffee as (confession) I had been sipping on margarita's prior to leaving my comment & the last time I did that was last year! Yes, SLB is very much a lightweight.
Now that this post has somewhat been buried...
a little explanation, one of my brothers is legally blind from diabetes. When his vision started to fail, the doctors urged surgery. His private health insurance had dropped him, he was unable to continue in his profession & government assistance for such surgeries came with a two year wait. Time was of the essence. He ultimately needed 33 surgeries, costing 1000's of dollars each, to hamper the rapid degeneration of his eyes.
Had I been a woman of excessive means, we would have made the first appointment when the good doc said to. It took me about 3 months to find someone somewhere (The Lions Club out of Chicgo, IL) to help cover the costs so that we could schedule these operations.
Luckily he does have some vision left, but he is legally blind & lemme tell you it was awful watching him suffer so because we didn't have the damn money. The lack of money has so adversely affected his life in so many ways, health wise & thus in every other aspect, that sometimes I really do feel like having money to throw at the problem is what it takes to help the problem. TY. P&L

Bardouble29 said...

SLB - Next time lets share those margaritas together!!!

I completely understand what you are saying about your brother. I was really not meaning throwing money at a necessary situation like yours, but more of where the parents of this boy could have sat down with him and talked, spent time, better understand their son. Not just kep giving monetary gifts to an already spoiled boy.

HUGS to you my dear friend.

skinnylittleblonde said...

TY Again. I appreciate it. Lol, throw a couple margarita's in my and I am ajabber-jaw until I fall asleep!
I agree completely with your point and really didn't mean to go off in a tangent. So many people with excessive means rely upon counselors & therapy, even the church, when they really should be relying upon themselves, their time, their hearts, souls, experiences & their own commitment.