Sunday, April 22, 2007

Shame on ME!

This weekend I went to Salinas to visit my dear friend. She is quite a bit older than me and I call her mom. She actually looks like she could be my mom. She is reliving her youth and has been doing so for several years. She parties harder than I do. Weekends spent with her exhaust me.

I drove over Friday afternoon and we went to dinner, then she wanted to head over to the American Legion. It was pretty packed with people, though the average age was about 80. I did get asked to dance quite a bit. Had a few drinks and watched "mom" do shots of Patron. She is dangerous when taking shots (ever heard the song "tequila makes her clothes fall off?")

Our group closed down the legion and she still wanted to party, so we headed over to a local hole in the wall bar and there was karoke. She LOVES karoke, alot!!!! So she put in a few songs. I do not do karoke under any circumstances at all!

While in there, I was a bit nervous as I dislike crowded bars. I was overtly looking around so, I could figure out where people were, and if I felt there needed to be any worry of fights etc. I ordered a glass of wine and was trying to drink it. I saw two BIG girls pointing at me, and I really got nervous.

A few minutes later I realize there is someone openly staring at me. I glance to my left and there is a man getting another beer. He points to the bottle and nods, not saying a word. Then he turns and openly stares at me. I really dislike that! I purposely dog him and turn my body to ignore him. Finally he grabs his beer and walks away. The crowd in the bar started to thin out a bit and I relaxed.

A few guys came up to ask me to dance, I was starting to have a little fun, but I kept noticing the same guy was staring at me. I told "mom" that I was wanting to go home, she didn't want to. I sighed and started talking to some girl standing next to me. A few minutes later someone bumps into me, I turned to say Excuse ME! and its the guy that had been staring at me. I was about to unleash holy hell on him, when he starting signing to me that he was deaf. Boy, did I feel like crap. Thank God I know some sign language, he said sorry for staring he was trying to get my attention. We ended up talking (signing), he was a super sweet guy.

But shame on me for judging him. I am going to be very honest. When I first saw him staring I immediately labeled him in my mind. And let me tell you the labels I put on him were rude and mean. I judged this poor man based on how he looked and his actions, rather than who he was.

So that is why I say shame on me!


Jay said...

I've been to Salinas once. We didn't stay very long as we were on our way to Monterey.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Given your surroundings you reacted the same way anyone else would have.

Anonymous said...

exacly how i would react. It happens to everyone. Don't worry about it you did nothing wrong.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Don't feel bad. Everyone has done this at one point or another. I don't react well to people staring at me either.

I'm glad you had fun with your friend.

Anne said...

I never would have thought of the Foreign Legion as a party spot. Maybe I oughta drop in and pick me up an old man. ;)

...what suddenly made you give that guy a chance because he was deaf? Deaf people generally seem pretty cool, but he was still a guy staring at you in a seedy bar.

Dorky Dad said...

Well, now ... I think that if you are in a bar and somebody is staring at you, you have a right to be a bit creeped out. I know I would.

susan said...

Um...hello? Guy continously staring at you in a bar? Yuck! It doesn't matter that he was deaf, there are better ways to get your attention. You did nothing to be ashamed of.

But how cool that you know sign language and could actually talk to him!

Chucky said...

Like everyone above has said. No need for the shame. Glad you got to go out :)

captain corky said...

I will only Karaoke shit faced. I have to have vodka in me to do it, but once I'm good and primed I love it.

RockDog said...

I agreee with the others...that's how would have reacted. Sounds like you had fun otherwise!

What would it take for you to karaoke??? There msut be something! LOL!

Wizened Wizard said...

Good on you for recognizing a misjudgement and making up for it. And good on you again for publically shining the light on your mistake as a good reminder to each of us. Every one of us blunder at times. Too few can admit it.

No shame on you!

Kati said...

Agreeing with the others, Barb. A woman can't be too careful these days, and a guy staring at you in a seedy bar is still a guy staring at you in a seedy bar, deaf or hearing, nice or nasty.

Glad to hear you may have made a new friend out of it, but it still doesn't hurt to be careful.

singleton said...

Oh you precious Girl! The same thing happened to me last summer at our local dive/hang-out/favorite place to go... This fellow kept making funny faces at me and waving oddly and then sent me napkin notes via the waitress, I smiled and set them on the table...over and over again, trying not to look his way! Finally his friend came over and asked if I would please just dance with Scott once, as he had asked me in so many ways.....Well, I didn't have my contacts in and couldn't read the notes and Scott was deaf and mute so couldn't ask out loud!

And yup, we danced! Very close to the drums!

Sometimes, we judge...and sometimes, we stand corrected! It's all good, girl! And then we make friends in the damndest ways!

kate said...

how interesting. I think if you remain in contact you should tell him in the future it is wise NOT to stare as it comes across as just plain weird! lol

Its been soooooo long since I have done that scene! lol Well not that long, but long since I have done it single! lol Its totally different to go to a bar when you are married (not that it stops guys from hitting on you anyway... the dogs!)

Glad that work is going well for you too! Its always weird to begin a new job but very exciting to meet all the new people and be mentally challenged!

skinnylittleblonde said...

Lol, lesson learned ... no shame there, girl!

LADY LUXIE said...

Could have happened to anyone...but it's great that you were able to gain a friend!