Ciao My Dear Friends

Tomorrow I must get up at 3:30 am (isn't it against the law to have to get up that early??) and I am flying off to my vacation. EKKKK! I am SO excited! I will miss my blogging family dearly, but I might have a moment or two to do some visiting while I am on vacation. If not then I will be back on April 9Th.

And I shall leave you with an interview, given to me by the famous Jayman. (There might be just a touch of embellishment here and there in this interview. )

Jayman: Barb, we know that you have such an easy life, so we want to hear about a perfect day to you.

Barb: A perfect day, starts by not being woken by an alarm clock, but rather when I naturally wake up. Make a pot of coffee and sit in my PJ's having great conversation with someone I care about. Get showered and dressed, and head out for the day. Make a stop by the beach and feel the sand between my toesies. Have some wonderful Clam Chowder for lunch, for the afternoon walk around a quaint little town and window shop. Spend the late afternoon watching the beautiful sunset, and end it with a great little dinner and a glass of wine. Then sit for awhile and chat beneath the stars. Ahhhh, that sounds like a perfect day to me.

Jayman: Well that sounds fine and all, but we really want to get a little deeper into knowing you, do you have any scars?

Barb - yes, I do. Many in fact, I was quite a tomboy growing up, so my knees are quite the story of scars and I have chicken pock scares from when I had that, and I can be quite the klutz so I little scars all over my hands. One funny story, and its not even a scar, but I get asked about it all the time, is a strange arrangement of freckles that I have on my right upper arm. People ask me all the time if it is a tattoo. It is just a weird constellation of freckles...I know I got a little off the scar track, but oh well!

Jayman: Uh, that was interesting...on to the next question. What character from a book would you be?

Barb: Oh I love books! My favorite type of book to read are murder/mystery/who done it's. I would want to be the person who solves the case. They get all the clues, come close to death themselves and still manage to solve the case and get the girl.....In my case though, I want the hot ass guy!

Jayman - We all have favorite holidays and among those we have all had a favorite Halloween costume. What is your favorite Halloween costume?

Barb: Oh it has to be when I was a little devil. I had horns, a tail and the cape....I was using the horns to hold up my halo!!!! There is even a picture to prove it!

Jayman : Ok, so we are at our final question of the evening. We want to know the real Barb. We want some juicy details. We want to know about your first kiss.

Barb: Ah, a first kiss is one that is usually never forgotten. It was in spring and the young man's name was Jaime. I was smitten with this young man. We went to high school together and he played the saxophone. We were at his house (his family was like my second family) and we went down by the creek to cool off. We both we kinda flirting, but neither one of us told the other that we like each other. We were sitting on a big rock side - by -side joking around and all of a sudden we looked at each other and bumped noses. We both laughed and then we kissed. I swore that fireworks were going off....On the phone later that night he asked me to be his girl, then two days later dumped me because he said I was a greater kisser, but was too plain to suit his taste in girls....oh well, at least I got a kiss out of it.

Jayman: Barb, thanks for a great interview. We have all gotten to know you a little bit better.

Just SOOOO Bummed! (NOT)

This is me trying REALLY hard not to look too excited about next

week. ( I know, its a dorky picture, it was the best I could do taking a picture with the camera stretched out in front of me!!!)

I am getting ready to go on vacation. I will be sitting on the beach, kicking back sipping Pina Colada's. Enjoying the nice warm sunshine....

Enjoying the gorgeous Sunsets.....

I am sooooo excited about my vacation coming up....Can you tell?

Let Me Be Poor

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

I don't know who wrote this or I would give them credit. I read this earlier, and two thoughts came to my mind. 1) "Out of the mouth of babes". That phrase gets used to much, but it is so true. Most children are not marred by hate and prejudice. They are able to see the world in its true beauty. 2.) I thought, please let me be poor. If being poor allows me to have fresh air, freedom to roam in fields and streams and the ability to help others...then let me be poor.

Hypothetically Speaking

The other day a friend and I went to lunch. We were chit chattin' and catching up. After our lunches arrived, she had a serious look on her face. I told her to tell me what was bothering her.

Background - She is a lovely lady, who is married to a great guy of 9 years. Both have fantastic careers, and they have a small child. They live in a nice house..etc, etc. You get my point.

She looks at me and tells me that she is thinking of getting a lover. My jaw hit the floor.

So, I asked her to tell me why.

She began to share with me about the details of her marriage. She loves her hubby to death, but there is no passion, no desire, no sex between the two of them. When the act is done, is in a perfunctory manner. They do not want to get a divorce, but she states "she still has needs." I asked her if they had thought about counselling, she said he doesn't think there is a problem, so therefore doesn't think counselling is necessary. I also asked her if they have tried to spice it up a bit. She told me, she got some sexy under things, he won't try toys, and laughs when she springs some new little action on him. He says that after being married that many years, it is just not as important as it once was!

I asked her if she thought he was cheating on her. She said absolutely not. He is home every single night. He calls her during the day to tell her he loves her, he still does small things just to say " I love you" etc. He just has zero sex drive. I then told her that he should be checked out by a doctor, because medical conditions can effect a mans desire. She went back to her earlier statement that he doesn't think anything is wrong with him. I told her to talk to her own doctor about it, he might have some suggestions.

We talked further about the possibility of her taking a lover, she asked me my opinion, and I gave her my opinion. But I am curious what opinions of other people are. I know what I think about the importance of sex and passion in a marriage, but I want to know what my community of bloggers think. You guys are great and I really want to know if others think as I do, or if I am just a crazy person.

It Moves Me

Music moves me...it effects me, changes my moods, lifts me up, and its part of who I am.

There is one song in particular that I keep coming back to...yes, it is a country song. It is written by Garth Brooks, "The Dance".

I know there are many of you who do not like country music, but forget for a moment that it is country. Just read the lyrics and see the song as what it is.

This song has so much meaning to me. This song answers all of the "what if?" questions. What if I had never met him/her? What if we had never married? What if? What if? What if? There is no way of nowing the end or outcome, but we can't let the fear of hurt cripple our chances of finding love or the right person to share it with.

Even though I am divorced, I would not change who I married or the lesson's (baggage - see Singleton's post) I learned. I grew to become the woman I am. I became secure in the knowledge of who I am and what I want out of a relationship. Yes, there was anger, hate, bitterness and all the nastiness that goes with divorce, but I still would not have missed the chance at the dance.

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know
I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
but I'd of had to miss the dance

I have been playing with the idea of starting a music blog. There are thousands of songs and groups that I love to listen to. I had a hard time narrowing down the music I wanted on my new lil MP3 player. Though, I know nothing of using U-tube (I think that is how it is spelled). If anyone has thoughts or would like to add a thought about a music blog, or to tell me how to use the U-tube thingy, I would love to hear about it.

Thing to know about me(me)

Thanks to all of you for the fantastic Birthday Wishes! It was a good one. I was busy the last few days putting great music on my new MP3 player. Music I love can be a blog unto itself!

I was tagged for a meme from Queen Anne's Revenge. It is 5 Little known facts facts about myself! (This should be interesting), then I get to tag 5 other people (that's the best part!)

1. I was mistaken for a boy. As as child I was very much a tomboy. I had short hair, jeans and t-shirts, and played in the mud as much as possible! One day my mom and I were riding the bus and a gentleman told my mom she had a handsome son! I was mortified and decided it was time to start acting more like a girl!

2. I went to beauty college and have had every shade of colored hair, every length of hair and every type of hair style!

3. I was a cheerleader in high school for 1 year. It was a fluke, I was dared to try out. I did and I made the squad....it was interesting, but not really my thing.

4. I like almost every type of music there is. From oldies, to country, soft rock, alternative, reggae, punk, grunge...I just got an MP3 player and have had a blast filling it with a very eclectic variety of music.

5. I carry on full conversations with people in my sleep. I have had people wake me up and ask me what I am talking about or dreaming about...I can never remember when I wake up, but when they repeat back to me, I laugh at the very odd things I say.

There, now you all know some strange things about me. I get to choose 5 people and they are...
Em , Doragon , Jay , Kati , Lone Beader,

Another Year gone By

Just another day...

I spent most of yesterday downloading music on my new birthday present. I got an MP3 player. Its funny, I would never spend the money getting myself one, but I am certainly not going to waste this great present.

I can't believe I am 31 today. I remember being 17 or 18 and envisioning my life....hahahha, its a far cry from the fairy tale my mind spun. But I am happy where I am. My basic needs are met, I have some fantastic friends, so what more could a girl ask for.

So, I am starting today in my cozy robe, with my nummy cup of coffee and a stroll around bloggerville!

Growing up

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

I read this little antidote tonight and at first I laughed at how cute and sweet it sounds...but then I got to thinking about it in terms of my own step kids.

I remember being in Jr. High and knowing what I know about the world now, I was very naive. I was just happy to have a boy "like" me. The first time a boy kissed me, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

Fast forward to 19, I am married and have two step kids. They are cute, sweet and innocent.

As the kids continued to grow, their dad and I agreed that we would hit the topic of sex straight on and truly answer their question and be honest. At most questions this was easy and I always answered the questions as truthfully as possible without making it seem too...ok. I always tried to teach that being physical was not a bad or wrong thing, but that it needed to be with someone whom you loved and there were parameters that needed to be set as to how far to go etc. Most of these conversations I was able to have with a straight face and able to look my daughter in the eye.

We also had a rule in our family, that if they heard an unfamiliar term in school amongst their peers that they were to come home and ask, instead of getting the info from their friends.

Well there was one evening that girl child came home and was in serious thought mode. I knew better than to but in until she was good and ready to talk. About a half an hour before bed, she handed me a note that said she needed to have a talk.

I go in her room thinking a boy teased her, or she likes a new one etc. I sit down on the bed beside her and attempt to make small talk. She was not interested, she sat there silent for a moment, her brow furrow with trouble thoughts....Finally I said to just tell me what was on her mind.

I can honestly tell you that what came out of her mouth absolutely shocked me! I was not able to even look her in the eye, I looked at the spot where her hairline meets her forehead. I swear I turned 15 shades of red and about had a heart attack....

She turns to me and whispers, "what is finger banging? " I about died, I couldn't believe she had even heard that term....

After I about died, I told her what it was and I absolutely could not look her in the eye.

She was silent for a moment, before she made a face and replied, "yuck!" Inwardly, I said, "Thank you God!"

Kids are growing up so fast. Too damn fast.

Nice and Safe

Has anyone ever dated someone, and didn't really dig them, but everyone around you says, "But they are so nice!"

I don't want nice...I want someone I connect with, someone who tickles that spot inside me (not sexually, you perverts! well...I want that too.) I am not one of those girls, that want a bad boy, but I want someone that interests me...nice is so freaking boring, and there is nothing really in common. Why do parents etc, base all their dating assumptions, on..."he is such a nice boy!"

But does this nice boy have a personality? Does he know how to have a conversation? Can he laugh with me and at himself? Does he take himself too serious? In most cases where I have dated nice boys, there was nothing to them.

I love being spoiled and treated like a lady, but I like to get down and dirty too.
I am one who will roll up my sleeves and change (help) car parts. I like sports, hiking....exercising. I can drink beer, and belch and tell dirty jokes, with the best of them. I can cuss like a sailor, I love going to games...and hanging out.

I have caught myself saying about other people I have dated, "well, he is not really my type, but he is safe."

I don't want nice, and safe. I want someone whose views of the world align with mine. Someone I can curl up with and have conversations. There is the unspoken comfort of someone you know so well...I want that.

Nice and safe is great, if it fits into someone who also has something in common with me....

20 P's

Earlier I was reading Queen Anne's Revenge , she had to think of ten things she likes and loathes that that started with the letter B.

I thought it would be fun to play along....she assigned me the letter P.

So things I like that start with the letter P.

1. Posting- new blogs are fun to both read and write!
2. Peanut butter cookies - they are nummy.
3. Pay checks - they absolutely rock!
4. Pictionary- really fun game to play.
5. Pictures - I love pictures, I love to scrapbook...
6. Pots and Pans- I like cooking!
7. Phones- I like to keep in touch with the people that I care about!
8. Pancakes- ummm, all buttery and syrupy, and slobery....
9. Pizza- Pepperoni, olives, muchrooms...best stuff on earth.
10. Plants- I love having lots of green plants around.

10 things I dislike that start with P.

1. Poo - nuff said.
2. Peaches, plums, pineapple- uck...just don't like 'em..
3. Pain- no explaination needed.
4. Pot...smell of it makes me nauseous.
5. Puke- nuff said.
6. Passive- have an opinion, even if it wrong
7. Proctologists- their job sucks any way you look at it.
8. Podiums - I have been in front of people acting and talking, but for some reason podiums aways make me nervous.
9. Pop [soda]- so very bad for you, trying to cut back.
10. Prying- I truly dislike people who pry!

Wow, that was kinda fun...the dislike were harder that the likes....ok, so who is next. Let me know if you want to play and I will give you a letter.

Just nothing

Wow, I have a super bad case of extreme writers block. I want to write, I faithfully read my bloggerville favs...and I sit down to write my own...and my brain fills with white static...Kinda like white noise...or maybe its the voices in there arguing! Anyways, now that I sound crazy...

My boss apologized to me today, not a flippant apology, but a real sincere apology. It was nice and very unexpected. He has been under some stress and over the last week took it out on me...I was hurt, but kept it to myself. I knew he was under some really bad pressure and probably just needed to vent...Well the apology was great. I am glad that I did let the whole situation roll off my back.

I have been doing some soul searching...some looking at me on the inside. I don't know yet what I am finding. One thing I read time and time again are people on here trying to grow and better themselves...I to want to continue to grow and learn.

I think that when you stop striving, to grow and learn...that is when you begin to die...

Hummmmm, more to think on

Bowing out "Gracefully"

Ok, many of you are not American Idol fans, but I am. This is not necessarily about A.I itself but one of its contestants.

The contestant in question is the famous Antonella...

When I first heard her audition I was a fan of her. She made it, when her friend did not. Her friend had formal training and Antonella did not. I was rooting for the "underdog"....but as time has worn on, I am sick of her, sick of her name, and sick of the fact that every time I turn on the News it consists of either her or Anna Nicole (but that is a whole different blog).

Has any one else heard of a web site called www.votefortheworst.com ? This website promote the worst of the worst on American Idol. There pick for female right now is.....guess? Come on take one guess....No? Ok, OK! Its Antonella.

She is staying because this website is thousands strong of people voting for her to stay on.

She knows she sucks...she knows she is only staying on the show, because of this website.

If I were her I would gracefully bow out. I would be ashamed of all the untoward media and the hype and the fact that I can't sing. I would gracefully bow out of the competition so someone more deserving could have a chance at winning.

She is cocky enough, to throw sarcasm and attitude back at the judges when they are telling her the truth about how back she sucks....did you see her roll her eyes like she was 13. As a step parent of teenagers, I wanted to smack the friggen look off her face!