A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"
I read this little antidote tonight and at first I laughed at how cute and sweet it sounds...but then I got to thinking about it in terms of my own step kids.
I remember being in Jr. High and knowing what I know about the world now, I was very naive. I was just happy to have a boy "like" me. The first time a boy kissed me, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Fast forward to 19, I am married and have two step kids. They are cute, sweet and innocent.
As the kids continued to grow, their dad and I agreed that we would hit the topic of sex straight on and truly answer their question and be honest. At most questions this was easy and I always answered the questions as truthfully as possible without making it seem too...ok. I always tried to teach that being physical was not a bad or wrong thing, but that it needed to be with someone whom you loved and there were parameters that needed to be set as to how far to go etc. Most of these conversations I was able to have with a straight face and able to look my daughter in the eye.
We also had a rule in our family, that if they heard an unfamiliar term in school amongst their peers that they were to come home and ask, instead of getting the info from their friends.
Well there was one evening that girl child came home and was in serious thought mode. I knew better than to but in until she was good and ready to talk. About a half an hour before bed, she handed me a note that said she needed to have a talk.
I go in her room thinking a boy teased her, or she likes a new one etc. I sit down on the bed beside her and attempt to make small talk. She was not interested, she sat there silent for a moment, her brow furrow with trouble thoughts....Finally I said to just tell me what was on her mind.
I can honestly tell you that what came out of her mouth absolutely shocked me! I was not able to even look her in the eye, I looked at the spot where her hairline meets her forehead. I swear I turned 15 shades of red and about had a heart attack....
She turns to me and whispers, "what is finger banging? " I about died, I couldn't believe she had even heard that term....
After I about died, I told her what it was and I absolutely could not look her in the eye.
She was silent for a moment, before she made a face and replied, "yuck!" Inwardly, I said, "Thank you God!"
Kids are growing up so fast. Too damn fast.