Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Nice and Safe

Has anyone ever dated someone, and didn't really dig them, but everyone around you says, "But they are so nice!"

I don't want nice...I want someone I connect with, someone who tickles that spot inside me (not sexually, you perverts! well...I want that too.) I am not one of those girls, that want a bad boy, but I want someone that interests me...nice is so freaking boring, and there is nothing really in common. Why do parents etc, base all their dating assumptions, on..."he is such a nice boy!"

But does this nice boy have a personality? Does he know how to have a conversation? Can he laugh with me and at himself? Does he take himself too serious? In most cases where I have dated nice boys, there was nothing to them.

I love being spoiled and treated like a lady, but I like to get down and dirty too.
I am one who will roll up my sleeves and change (help) car parts. I like sports, hiking....exercising. I can drink beer, and belch and tell dirty jokes, with the best of them. I can cuss like a sailor, I love going to games...and hanging out.

I have caught myself saying about other people I have dated, "well, he is not really my type, but he is safe."

I don't want nice, and safe. I want someone whose views of the world align with mine. Someone I can curl up with and have conversations. There is the unspoken comfort of someone you know so well...I want that.

Nice and safe is great, if it fits into someone who also has something in common with me....

18 comments:

Jay said...

And here I've always thought I was being complimented all these years by all these girls calling me "nice". Way to burst my bubble there. haha

Kidding .. I'm kidding .. I kid because I care.

I know what you mean. Nice and safe sounds kina ... boring.

Bardouble29 said...

Jay - you are more than "just nice", why? Cause you always make me laugh, with your blog!

Dorky Dad said...

Sooooo ... you're saying that you're not nice? I don't know, you seem nice to me.

Bardouble29 said...

Dorky - Yes, I am nice...but there are many sides to me too...

Chucky said...

oh yeah there are many sides to you...

Lets see for starters you got a front side, and it's a nice front ;). There there is the back side...oh the back side. Can't go wrong with the back. You got a right side, it's..."eh" at best. Not really my pint of ale. Now we get to the left. oh the left. The left is a keeper alright. It keeps me awake at night. Left...Left...Left. I like the left it's good.

Maybe if ya ma liked the "nice" one so much, just tell her to date him :P

See it works.

skinnylittleblonde said...

Ah...looking for that happy medium balance. It's there. I think many men feel the same as us girls. They want to feel & be treated like a man, yet don't want to be relied upon too much for their manlihood.
You sound very well-balanced in between being a woman & being real (digging in the dirt & such ;) and I have the uptmost faith that when the time is right, you'll find that well-balanced man.

Anne said...

I hope you find your well-balanced guy soon. When you do, ask if he has a brother for me. ;)

Kati said...

The thing about nice is.... A person who's "nice" for a family member, may really rock for the person doing the dating. But, somebody who rocks for me, may only be nice for you.... But, totally understand what you mean. Just "nice" doesn't cut it. Not in a person that one may want to spend a good portion of one's time with.

Just don't forget that when somebody mentions that they've got somebody "nice" they want you to meet, doesn't mean they want you to settle. I think nice, is nice, is nice (just about everybody can agree if somebody is "nice"). But only the person doing the meeting/dating can tell if that "nice-ness" goes beyond into "rocks" for themselves.

Hope you find somebody who rocks your world.

Enemy of the Republic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Enemy of the Republic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bardouble29 said...

Chucky- Always knew my left side was SO much better than the other!

SLB- balance is key, I want nice, and personality and...and...and. (joking!)

Kati- well said. Nice doesn't always translate to attraction! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Enemy- My dear, you have no idea how much I love you to death! You always say things that make me think! My blog was based off a young man I had dated. He was as nice as gold, but he had no personlity, we shared no common interests...etc. I really didn't want to date him, but everyone said, "but he is so nice",

Nice is great as long as there is a little something more too.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I hope you don't mind. I'm deleting the above comment as I know I really wasn;t quite honest. It's so hard to explain. And I love you too, pal.

captain corky said...

I agree with you Bar. Nice and safe works well when your looking for an automobile, not a person to spend the rest of your life with.

Em said...

Nice is...well...nice. Nice is an important quality. But alone, it is just...nice. It isn't passion. It isn't creativity. It isn't intimacy. It isn't spontaneity. It isn't love. It can be part of all of those. But you need those, too!

Bardouble29 said...

Em- You my friend summed it up so well...Thanks!

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Good for you! Never settle! I know too many women who settled for safe and ended up bored out of their minds.

susan said...

Good for you for not taking the easy way out. Having someone that you can love and trust yet never get bored with...I think that's a good thing.

Baron Ectar said...

nice guys always finish last you know - lol

Now I am thinking about the guys my daughter is dating - oh boy ...