I have a knack...
A knack for playing the devil's advocate. For seeing both sides of the story.
So many times I have had someone come in to me and give a story full of hurt or anger all blamed on an opposing party. After they unleash their anger, I calmly say to them...but can you see their side of it? Walk a mile in their shoes?
People are so quick to jump to a single conclusion without looking at the entire picture.
I know a girl...we will call her Angel. Angel is a young sweet girl that found herself pregnant. She was trying to get along with the father. The father helped her out with a place to live and a vehicle etc. She got mad at him over a few things and was ready to zip him out of her life. She was even going to not let the baby have his last name. I got her to think about how much that would hurt him and how much the child would want to know why she locked daddy out of their lives. After talking for an hour, she thanked me for giving her a bunch of stuff to think about. She said she had not stopped to to think about his side of the situation. All her family had done was egg her on to cut this man out of her life. She was happy to have a friend that was open to both sides of the story.
I think that being this way just mean that you have to be open minded. Look at the other persons intentions. Many times we have great intentions they just get taken wrong. We cause hurt to others without meaning to.
So slow down to anger and take a minute to try and see both sides of the story.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
To Be 4 Again
A few weeks ago we told my Stepson4 we were going to take them camping next month. He got all excited at the moment and jumped up and down. We figured it was a momentary thing and would hae forgotten it and moved on to the next new and exciting adventure.
About 3 days later my fiance picked him up from preschool and Stepson4 started telling him that he needed to get his tent and his smores and learn the ghost stories for camping.
To our knowledge Stepson4 has never been camping and would have no reason to know anything about it. It was to cute that he was telling his dad he wanted to tell ghost stories around the camp fire.
So yes, in June we are taking the boys camping. We are going to go to the coast. We even got them their own tent. Big 5 had a GREAT sale and we got a tent for $26.00
We love showing the boys new things and getting their reaction to things like camping, playing in the snow, their first game of T-Ball....
Oh to be 4 again and have the fun of discovering new adventures....
About 3 days later my fiance picked him up from preschool and Stepson4 started telling him that he needed to get his tent and his smores and learn the ghost stories for camping.
To our knowledge Stepson4 has never been camping and would have no reason to know anything about it. It was to cute that he was telling his dad he wanted to tell ghost stories around the camp fire.
So yes, in June we are taking the boys camping. We are going to go to the coast. We even got them their own tent. Big 5 had a GREAT sale and we got a tent for $26.00
We love showing the boys new things and getting their reaction to things like camping, playing in the snow, their first game of T-Ball....
Oh to be 4 again and have the fun of discovering new adventures....
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday Blues!
Its Wednesday....all day long...
I wish it were Friday already, yep...yep. This weekend we are getting away. From it all the city, the heat and work.
We are heading out to Monterey. We are going to enjoy the ocean, the cooler weather and not having to worry about home or work for a few days.
I wish it were Friday already, yep...yep. This weekend we are getting away. From it all the city, the heat and work.
We are heading out to Monterey. We are going to enjoy the ocean, the cooler weather and not having to worry about home or work for a few days.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sitting in my office
Each day I sit in my office. I can't see the front door to my office, but I can hear it opening.
Everytime it opens, I look up from my task or computer to see who is walking in the doors for a tour of the community.
Sometimes it is a vendor looking for more business. People are desperate to find more business and have taken going door to door with business cards in hand. I always feel bad for having to tell them that we already have a pest control guy, gardeners, and maid services. They always look so sad. Then I tell them that I will keep their card on file and if I find that I have a need in the future I can call on them. Most times I get rewarded with a smile.
Other times there comes in a desperate looking man or man with resume in hand. They tell me they need a job and are willing to do anything. These are the people that I feel the worst for. I have to tell them that we are not hiring at the moment, but that they can submit an application and we would be happy to look at it if something should come up....
Most of the time in walk people of every type of back ground, ethnicity and personality. I make it my goal to treat these people as if they were the most important people in the world to me. If someone comes in that is grumpy or upset, I try my heardest to calm them and get them to smile. It doesn't matter to me if they are dressed crazy, tattooed, peirced, angry or scary looking. They are a person that I have the potential to lease to and I want to make a difference to them.
I enjoy the job I have and its always interesting to see who may pop around the corner each time my door opens.
Everytime it opens, I look up from my task or computer to see who is walking in the doors for a tour of the community.
Sometimes it is a vendor looking for more business. People are desperate to find more business and have taken going door to door with business cards in hand. I always feel bad for having to tell them that we already have a pest control guy, gardeners, and maid services. They always look so sad. Then I tell them that I will keep their card on file and if I find that I have a need in the future I can call on them. Most times I get rewarded with a smile.
Other times there comes in a desperate looking man or man with resume in hand. They tell me they need a job and are willing to do anything. These are the people that I feel the worst for. I have to tell them that we are not hiring at the moment, but that they can submit an application and we would be happy to look at it if something should come up....
Most of the time in walk people of every type of back ground, ethnicity and personality. I make it my goal to treat these people as if they were the most important people in the world to me. If someone comes in that is grumpy or upset, I try my heardest to calm them and get them to smile. It doesn't matter to me if they are dressed crazy, tattooed, peirced, angry or scary looking. They are a person that I have the potential to lease to and I want to make a difference to them.
I enjoy the job I have and its always interesting to see who may pop around the corner each time my door opens.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Mothers Day
This has always been a tough day for me.
Growing up I had a mom that was not much of a mom, but I always made cards and did the little school gifts and tried to make a big deal out of it....
Now a days...I am a (step) mom. I have always wanted to be a MOM. It makes me kinda sad that I am not. I always make a big deal out of the boys making something special to give their mom. I would never want to take away the magic of it being her day.
And my sweet man always brings me flowers...he knows that its tough for me.
Tomorrow we are going to go over to my mom-in-laws house. We will bbq and have a nice time. She has become like a mom to me and I enjoy her company very much.
I want to wish all the moms out there a wonderful Mother's Day. All of you have a hard job and us kids don't always say enough Thank You's to you.
Growing up I had a mom that was not much of a mom, but I always made cards and did the little school gifts and tried to make a big deal out of it....
Now a days...I am a (step) mom. I have always wanted to be a MOM. It makes me kinda sad that I am not. I always make a big deal out of the boys making something special to give their mom. I would never want to take away the magic of it being her day.
And my sweet man always brings me flowers...he knows that its tough for me.
Tomorrow we are going to go over to my mom-in-laws house. We will bbq and have a nice time. She has become like a mom to me and I enjoy her company very much.
I want to wish all the moms out there a wonderful Mother's Day. All of you have a hard job and us kids don't always say enough Thank You's to you.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Death
Since I have been away from blogging, a friend of mine died. He was one of my best friends, we had known each other for about 7 years and he knew all there was to know about me and I thought I knew all there was to know about him..(key word here is "THOUGHT".)
He was on his way to work on his motorcycle. He was hit by a car in an intersection that said they didn't see him.
That morning I receieved a call from his then Fiance (we will call her S.) and through her broken heart and tears she told me Mike was gone. Over the next two weeks S. and I talked often sharing funny and touching stories of Mike and his love and his quirky personality.
One evening shortly there after I called S. to see how she was holding up and to get details on when the funeral would be.
We talked for a minute and I could tell there was something bothering her. I asked her what and she said she had something very difficult to tell me. Some of the things she began to tell me in regards to Mike were unbelieveable...unthinkable. I told her there was no way, that it must have been a mistake of some kind...a misunderstanding. My best friend MIKE would NOT have dont these things to S. No way in hell.
After that conversation, I thought about it again and again...my mind denied it.
We held his memorial service and S. and I leaned on each other for support and strength. It was a terribly hard day knowing I would never hang out with my friend again.
A few days later S. told me that it was time for her to start cleaning out and sorting his personal belongings to give to family, charity etc.
A day later she called me, and her heart was broken, crushed and bruised. All the things I had denied could be true about my dear friend had been realized. Going through his things there was proof. It was there in black and white...photos...emails...websites...disks.
This friend that I had known and trusted was a sex addict. Not the funny kind like a guy that loves beautiful women...but the kind that is ugly and scary and twisted.
This was really hard for me to deal with...I had trusted this guy...he knew things about he..he had slept on my couch when we had drunk a bit too much.
Since his death the anger has set in...I no longer miss him...
But this whole thing got me to thinking...what will be found out about us when we pass? I would hope that I have just enough naughtyness in my past that my friends will remember me with smiles on there faces, but more than anything I hope that I will be remember having touched someones life...
He was on his way to work on his motorcycle. He was hit by a car in an intersection that said they didn't see him.
That morning I receieved a call from his then Fiance (we will call her S.) and through her broken heart and tears she told me Mike was gone. Over the next two weeks S. and I talked often sharing funny and touching stories of Mike and his love and his quirky personality.
One evening shortly there after I called S. to see how she was holding up and to get details on when the funeral would be.
We talked for a minute and I could tell there was something bothering her. I asked her what and she said she had something very difficult to tell me. Some of the things she began to tell me in regards to Mike were unbelieveable...unthinkable. I told her there was no way, that it must have been a mistake of some kind...a misunderstanding. My best friend MIKE would NOT have dont these things to S. No way in hell.
After that conversation, I thought about it again and again...my mind denied it.
We held his memorial service and S. and I leaned on each other for support and strength. It was a terribly hard day knowing I would never hang out with my friend again.
A few days later S. told me that it was time for her to start cleaning out and sorting his personal belongings to give to family, charity etc.
A day later she called me, and her heart was broken, crushed and bruised. All the things I had denied could be true about my dear friend had been realized. Going through his things there was proof. It was there in black and white...photos...emails...websites...disks.
This friend that I had known and trusted was a sex addict. Not the funny kind like a guy that loves beautiful women...but the kind that is ugly and scary and twisted.
This was really hard for me to deal with...I had trusted this guy...he knew things about he..he had slept on my couch when we had drunk a bit too much.
Since his death the anger has set in...I no longer miss him...
But this whole thing got me to thinking...what will be found out about us when we pass? I would hope that I have just enough naughtyness in my past that my friends will remember me with smiles on there faces, but more than anything I hope that I will be remember having touched someones life...
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Spring Has Sprung
Its great being back and writing again.
I have been gone for almost 2 years and what is great to me is that many of my favorite bloggers are still here and blogging away.
Another thing that thrilled my heart is that many of those same bloggers still had my link on their page. This small gesture of not deleting me warmed my lil heart and made me feel cherished by people I only know through this website...silly I know, but none the less made me feel good.
It is spring here in Visalia...we are getting the beautiful 80's weather, but we all know that right around the corner it will be creeping back up into the 90's and 100's. So, I am enjoying every minute of the breezy springy weather.
My lil porch has all my flowers blooming and looks beautiful. I am pulling out the dresses and cute lil spring things to wear and putting away all the sweaters and multi layered items.
Well I am going to go enjoy the beautiful weather and the spring day. See you all back here tomorrow.
I have been gone for almost 2 years and what is great to me is that many of my favorite bloggers are still here and blogging away.
Another thing that thrilled my heart is that many of those same bloggers still had my link on their page. This small gesture of not deleting me warmed my lil heart and made me feel cherished by people I only know through this website...silly I know, but none the less made me feel good.
It is spring here in Visalia...we are getting the beautiful 80's weather, but we all know that right around the corner it will be creeping back up into the 90's and 100's. So, I am enjoying every minute of the breezy springy weather.
My lil porch has all my flowers blooming and looks beautiful. I am pulling out the dresses and cute lil spring things to wear and putting away all the sweaters and multi layered items.
Well I am going to go enjoy the beautiful weather and the spring day. See you all back here tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Been A Long Time
It has been SOOO long since I have sat here and and typed words onto this blank slate.
Life has changed since I last wrote. There have been fantastic times and sad times. I have wanted to throw my hands up and scream and I have wanted to crawl under the covers and hide. And there have been days that I wanted to dance in a circle from the sheer joy of just BEING.
Yet day by day I am continuing to put one foot in front of the other. There are so many things I want out of life and i have to pause now and then to make sure I am doing all I possibly can to achieve my goals and dreams.
Since I have last written, I moved to another town about an hour outside Fresno. I have a great job. I am still doing the same thing. I am an apartment manager. I live on site and have a WONDERFUL man to share my life and time with.
One of the things that I wish for myself is to get back to writing. It is cathartic for me. It also helps me to be able to write in full sentences and use actual language in this crazy world of short, quick text messages.
Life has changed since I last wrote. There have been fantastic times and sad times. I have wanted to throw my hands up and scream and I have wanted to crawl under the covers and hide. And there have been days that I wanted to dance in a circle from the sheer joy of just BEING.
Yet day by day I am continuing to put one foot in front of the other. There are so many things I want out of life and i have to pause now and then to make sure I am doing all I possibly can to achieve my goals and dreams.
Since I have last written, I moved to another town about an hour outside Fresno. I have a great job. I am still doing the same thing. I am an apartment manager. I live on site and have a WONDERFUL man to share my life and time with.
One of the things that I wish for myself is to get back to writing. It is cathartic for me. It also helps me to be able to write in full sentences and use actual language in this crazy world of short, quick text messages.
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