Sigh

Today was a long day for me. I can stand in a crowd of people and feel lonely. I can see someone's smile and know that it is not real. I really do realize there are very few people in my life that I can say truly care about me. Sometimes I wonder why I am here, I do believe that all are here to serve a purpose, but in thirty years I have yet to find where I truly belong. I really am shy, awkward, backwards and upside down. Over the years I have learned to really put on the shining face, but the mask slips and the vulnerable me shows. I am so tired of hurting and tears and disappointment. I resent the fact that I can't be more or do more. I scream into the wind and no one hears me. Sometimes I want to run and run and run...Away from life, problems, myself...Till there is no more.

darkness surrounds
single, salty tear glides down
images swirl around
burdens unbearable
hands of time slow
sobbing uncontrollably
hallow screams echo